I Heart Freebies

I loved the Ugly Betty episode where the employees at Mode were abuzz about the cleaning of “The Closet” and the swag that would come out of it. I can see why celebrities still get excited about loaned designer dresses and jewels and awards show gift bags even though they could totally afford that stuff. They just can’t help but love a freebie.

I’m the same way. On a much much smaller scale. Sure, I would love designer purses, shoes, and frocks thrown my way. But since I am not in that market, I happily settle for the screenprinted promotional items distributed by everyone from competing companies to Coors Light. It is kind of a personal contest for me. How much can I rack up?! I am one of the lucky ones at work. I work with a client company that has its own logo store, and I have benefited greatly from this. At holidays, I have acquired travel mugs, polo shirts, fleeces, and a very nice set of promotional beanie babies. The beanie babies chill on my bookshelf at work, and I have to keep a watch on them because I know they are coveted. Of course, I liked this client anyway, but that “like” combined with the swag = love.

At bars, I simply cannot resist the lure of the Miller Lite/Bud Lite/Sam Adams/Random Liqueur Girl. I must have that t-shirt, flashing pin, slap bracelet, bottle opener, wristband, pen, picture frame, CD opener, strand of beads, refrigerator magnet, visor – whatever it is she’s hawking. One Miller Lite girl was giving away miniature foam fingers. Even though she said she was out of them, when I told her it was “important,” she managed to find me one. After all, it’s for the cause.

But here’s the rub: what on earth do you do with all of this crap? I am sad to report that once my freebies make it home, they’ve lost their magic. A flashing pin in the shape of a Guinness glass is not nearly as exciting when it’s stabbing me in the finger every time I reach into the junk drawer (or in my purse, for that matter). When I am getting ready for a night on the town, I don’t think to myself, “You know what would look great with this outfit? My Sam Adams beads.”