Sometimes, I Amaze Myself!

I tend to do a lot of thinking on my drives to and from work. Going to work, in order to block out all my work tasks, I tend to think about upcoming weekends, what I need to get for a 'To Do' list and sometimes reminisce about good times from the past. Going home, I usually think about what I'm going to do after the gym, what I need to do the next day, etc...it's just the planning side of me. And if I'm not thinking about stuff, I'm usually singing in my car.

On this particularly morning, I was thinking about when I first went to the Fish Market, in Old Town Alexandria. It was back in 2001 - my husband was down in DC for a weekend baseball series with Georgetown. My brother in law was in DC for a software conference. So what did my sister and I decide to do? Drive down from New Jersey and spend the weekend in DC! I stayed with my friend, Kelly, in Falls Church and my sister stayed with her husband at his hotel. My husband (then boyfriend) was sharing a room at a hotel so it wouldn't have looked very good with me bunking in the room. We all decided to meet up for dinner, one night, at the steakhouse on the top floor of the Key Bridge Marriott. The food was excellent, by the way. Afterwards, we had asked a concierge where we could go for some light drinking and entertainment. They had pointed us to Old Town Alexandria and the Fish Market. So off we went.

I had gotten directions from the concierge from Rosslyn to Old Town. Having lived here for five years now, I would imagine that I went via the GW Parkway to Route 1. Getting back from Old Town to the hotel, I would think that I just went the reverse route and headed back via Route 1 to GW Parkway - I can't really remember. All I do remember is that I got us all back to the hotel, in one piece, with my very drunk brother-in-law passed out in the passenger seat. One minute we were getting into the car and he's like 'I'll navigate us back, Jen.' The next minute, he is out like a light and I'm driving around a dead corpse.

I don't often go from Old Town to Rosslyn nowadays but when I do, I still manage to get confused about taking 50 vs GW Parkway....there's a split off in there and if you don't know where you're going, it can get very confusing. And that's in broad daylight....sober - I can't even imagine what I did at 2 am, at the age of 25, as a first time driver in the northern VA area, with a schooner full of beer in me. Those must've been some damn, good directions!

And that's when I usually pat myself on the back and think, 'Wow! That was amazing - I wonder how I did that!' But I'm sure I was a lot smarter back then...in the past seven years, I guarantee brain cells have fallen by the wayside!

Catalogs Galore

I have come to learn that the previous owner of our house was quite the shopper - in fact, she was almost like a real personal shopper - she would buy things for others that didn't like to shop or didn't know what to purchase. This seemed to be a full time hobby for her. And because of this, our house has received a TON of catalogs from places that I've never even heard of, nor could have imagined to have a business (much less a catalog). I was simply amazed by some of the things that would come through the mail - but of course that didn't stop me from perusing the catalog and finding some ideas of my own....who knew that you could have a business based off of the english muffin (reference: Wolferman's - www.wolfermans.com)? Or that full meat or seafood meals could be purchased and sent directly to your door, ready made (reference: Pfaelzer Brothers - www.pfaelzerbrothers.com) - I thought Omaha Steaks took care of that.

But it goes beyond food - her catalogs span furniture, clothing, hardware, window treatments, and industrial products. I have even received the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog - for me, that was something I only got to look through via the Sky Mall catalog on the plane!

So I wanted to share some of the other catalogs I've received through the mail, thanks to Ms. June....and maybe you'll go through the list and think, 'who knew?!'

Soft Surroundings - tag line: 'my time. my place. my self.' I think it's like a Chico's - their target audience seems to be middle-aged women that like to dress like hippies.

Home Decorators Collection - tag line: 'where value and selection come home.' It's a nice array of upholstered chairs, traditional and modern furniture, and anything you can think of to decorate your house. Looks like a poor man's Pottery Barn - but the prices are still up there.

Cuddledown - tag line: 'Manufacturing Fine Home Fashions Since 1973.' 1973 was not that long ago. They've got linens, comforters, bed skirts, matress pads - and even some robes and cardigans - probably made out of the same stuff as their super soft blankets. I don't know - I would like to "feel" the comfort before I make a purchase.

Sundance - tag line: 'Founded by Robert Redford in 1969.' Yuppers - Robert Redford, as in 'the Natural.' The catalog sells everything from fashions to home fashions - There's kind of a Native American, Santa Fe turquoise feel to their clothing and jewelry - need cowboy boots? But RR needs money, apparently, so it's kind of expensive.

Garnet Hill - tag line: 'original designs in clothing and home decor.' Again, more clothing and home fashions at reasonable prices. I was drawn to the catalog because it had a picture of a pretty, deep purple hydrangea on the cover. I like pretty pictures.

Napa Style - tag line: 'Celebrate the Flavor of Life.' So, want to live in Napa or have that Napa style without actually moving to Napa Valley? This is the catalog for you - a whole slew of culinary tools and decorations - all at Napa prices - how convenient.

Those are just the tip of the iceberg. I've got other catalogs for traveling clothes and gadgets (Travel Smith - www.travelsmith.com) - why do you need special travel clothes? Are regular clothes not good enough? I get the gadgets, not so much the clothes. And a whole catalog for silks - it's called Winter Silks (www.wintersilks.com) - who needs silk long johns? Doesn't having silk long johns defeat the purpose of wearing long johns - for layering and warmth? I asked my husband if he wanted some camouflage long johns for Christmas (as shown on page 17) - he said no. I guess you have to make some type of manly patterns available if you expect a dude to go around wearing silk long johns.

So many catalogs - so little time....just amazing how much is out there...how do these people stay in business, I wonder!

Coupons

Not to get on a rant or anything, but I hate coupons. I hate that my grocery receipt is five feet long because it's giving me these special printer coupons for a bunch of products I don't need. Really - what a waste of paper! I hate that every day, I open my mailbox to find some Macy's flyer with some special Macy's sale or some community value pack with special deals on oil changes and steam cleaning. And then I have these stupid coupons to keep track of - when do they expire, what's excluded, blah blah blah. I hate that because of these coupons, I can never truly, once and for all, get to the end of that ever growing junk mail pile . . .

And because I'm lazy and ill prepared, I never seem to have these coupons when I'm actually in the store. Oh no. Even though I get 10 Macy's coupons a week, when I make a little jaunt over there on a break from work (it's conveniently located across the street from my building) and find something I need or like, I say to myself, "Damn. I bet they had a coupon for this."

Sometimes, however, I do think ahead and carry the Macy's coupons in my purse. And sometimes, that is almost worse. Quite often, these are the coupons for $25 off a $75 purchase, etc. So you can't go into the store and buy just one thing (unless you're a big spender). You have to rack up enough items to get the discount.

Today, for example, I went into Macy's looking for a simple pashmina/scarf thing for an evening gown. The item was $50-some. I had cased the joint and picked it out the day before; I slept on it. It was a little more than I wanted to spend for something that will get such limited use, so I thought I would justify it with the $25 coupon. Well, that meant I wasted another 35 minutes looking for something to hike up the total. And it got to the point where I had to say to myself, "Really - do you really need to buy a $100 pair of pants just to use that dumb coupon?" The answer, I'm proud to say, is no. After desperately ransacking the Calvin Klein and Michael Kors racks (and even some I don't usually frequent), I ended up settling on a nice plain pair of black wool gloves. I can always use those, as I am known to misplace them.

But all of that added 35 minutes to an otherwise 5 minute errand. Coupons. Grrrrr!

A Slave to 80s Fashion

If you were living in the 80s, then you know all about the fads and fashions that spanned the decade - from friendship beads on your Keds to day-glo colors to off the shoulder sweaters, thanks to Flashdance. Some people could pull off these fashions, some could not. And I would like to think that if you were in the group that could not, then you just avoided it altogether and found another fad that suited your needs.

But what if your career dictated that you had to wear the latest fashion, despite how awful you looked? Case in point - 80s hair bands. As I was hanging out, watching some VH-1 Classic, I caught some really classic videos and the one that really got me thinking about this was David Lee Roth's "Goin' Crazy" from his solo album, 'Eat 'Em and Smile.' Of course, the star of the video was David Lee Roth himself - and we all know, from his Van Halen days, that he could really jump and high kick his heart out - the man had great legs. I attribute him and Steven Tyler (from Aerosmith) with making spandex, for men, so hugely popular among the hair bands. Of course he had his band in there and they were all forced to wear spandex and some loose fitting shirt - and you see this as a common theme throughout a lot of 80s hair band videos...Poison, Def Leppard, Warrant, White Lion, and the list goes on....

I have to say, though, there were some members of these bands that probably should have stayed away from the spandex. Maybe they had soccer player calves or unusually thick upper quads - I wonder if the other band members forced those with 'not-so-nice' legs to go on some kind of diet or become anorexic so they didn't bring the band down with their unshapely legs! Because wearing jeans when everyone else was in spandex was probably a huge no-no.

Maybe that's how the hammer pants came about. That was a sad point in fashion, and I think I fell victim (actually, I KNOW) to those pants because I didn't have shapely legs in middle school. But I digress. Now, when I am able to catch some 80s hair band videos, you better believe I am looking for those that probably should have stayed away from the spandex....though I think drummers are exempt since they're sitting behind a huge drum kit during a video and concert.