Mr or Miss Try To Hard

Ever been in a group of people where there's that one person that seems to be trying a little too hard to get involved in the conversation? Or been somewhere when a person you didn't show up with suddenly tries to get involved with whatever you're talking about regardless of whether the conversation wasn't directed at them?

We've all been there or experienced that one person. I have a couple of persons that come to mind when thinking about this topic and one in particular has become nails on a chalkboard to me. Most of the time, I think it's the person being socially awkward - but other times, you just need to chalk it up to trying too hard.

I try to get along with everyone but I admit I'm shy. I'm usually not the first person to approach new people but once introduced to someone, I try to be friendly and will eventually open up. But when someone comes on a little too strong, I tend to get turned off - I think I'm of the mindset of getting to know somebody slowly...I don't need to know your life story in the first hour of our meeting.

I had a run-in with the person I refer to above- we'll call him 'Mr. TTH' (Try To Hard). Yes, I can conclusively say that he is trying too hard. Mr. TTH has recently been coming out to more and more events in the DC area even though he reminds everyone at every meeting that he lives over an hour's drive away. After having a couple of interactions with Mr. TTH and thanking the Lord that I was a married woman, we got the "behind-the-scenes' story about Mr. TTH from college - and let's just say that he didn't have very many fans - he was the geekiest geek among the stereotypical group of geeks. And as our friend mentioned - you know it's bad when no one in this group likes you. I laughed then but now I totally get it.

It's nice that Mr. TTH wants to get involved but how do you break it to him that he's trying too hard at everything? I've also come to notice that Mr. TTH doesn't enjoy silence - if there's silence during a conversation, he feels the need to interject with something or just echo something you just said. Mr. TTH also doesn't have a sense of personal space - his approach is crowd now, ask later. I saw it happen the other week - he put his beefy claws around this girl he had only met once before and then asked, 'Is this okay?' She answered, under duress (I'm sure), 'Yeah.'

But I think the straw that finally broke the camel's back with me and Mr. TTH was when he made the comment (not in front of me but in front of two of my girlfriends), 'I need to move closer to DC - the girls here are easier.' First of all, why would you say that out loud? It's not true and I'm QUITE certain it's not the girls. In fact, if he said that in front of me, I'm pretty sure I would've responded, "Um yeah, I don't think it's the girls - I'm sure if you moved closer to DC you would see the same amount of action as you're seeing now.' And if you were the type of person to make lewd comments like that, as Mr. TTH has proven himself to be, why would you say that in front of girls? DC girls, no less!

So now when I see Mr. TTH, I cannot help but think about nails on a chalkboard and try to be polite by saying 'Hello' and then getting the heck out of his presence so I don't lose my cool and blow up at him for some stupid drivel that might come tumbling out of his mouth.

Do I feel sorry for Mr. TTH? No.
Yeah - I can be a bit mean sometimes...and I can live with that.

A Parentage Dissection

I just got back from semi-lovely weekend in New Jersey with the family. It was only semi-lovely because I had a cold the whole time and amazingly it was not due to the North Pole-like temperatures my parents like to keep the house at.

As I get older and my parents get older and more crotchety, I always wonder whom I take after more and which parent will I end up more like as I get older. Of course my fingers are double crossed the whole time hoping the answer is neither of them - but I figured it was time to really think about which parent I take after more. The 2-second answer is my father - my Mother seems to always want to remind me that I am like my father - and therefore since she already has to live with him, she'd rather not deal with me any more than she has to. And any time my Mother and I seem to notice we have something in common, my Mother gasps in shock like 'How can this be?!' So I think I have more in common with my Mother than she would like to admit - so let's take a closer look.

First Name: Susan
Code name: MOTHER
DOB: Lincoln's Birthday, 1943
Country of Origin: China - though she doesn't like to claim it as her birth place
Characteristics: Self-proclaimed Math Genius; Graduated from the Best/Top University of Taiwan (says her); Church-going holy roller, Advocate of the Po'; paints and draws, a lot.

Likes: Painting, drawing, complaining, her Grandkids, fruits, vegetables, drawing comparisons between her kids and other people's extremely successful kids, tea, bible study, money, and sending feel-good emails with a Christian lesson undertone, organization, and charities.
Dislikes: Travelling, el Diablo, toys, Dad, disorganization, disobedience and humor

How are we similar? We both have a soft spot for the needy. We both like oranges with the harder rind. We like to make sure everyone is satisfied and comfortable.
How are we dissimilar? Too much to list.



First Name: Chester
Code Name: Daddy
DOB: around Thanksgiving, 1941
Country of Origin: Taiwan
Characteristics: Also graduated from the Top/Best University in Taiwan (says he); has the uncanny ability to be able to talk about ANYTHING; gets along well with others that are not related to him; speaks and laughs loudly; an extrovert; cooks well but makes a mess while doing it; loves salt; likes to experiment with new and different things but only on his own schedule.

Likes: Travel, reading, riding and falling from his bike, golfing, meat, beer, wine, being a pain in everyone's arse, the arts, strong coffee, his Grandkids, money, investments, photography and underestimating his daughters' smarts.
Dislikes: crazy people (mother included), making a fuss (even though he doesn't realize when he's making a fuss for others)

How are we similar? We both like to travel and experience new things. We keep an open mind about a lot of things and form our own opinions of others.
How are we dissimilar? I'm pretty sure I'm not a pain in other people's arses and I don't take very good pictures.

So where do I get my shopping traits from? Believe it or not, I get it from both parents. Since retirement, my Dad has unveiled himself to be a big time shopper - shopping for cool gadgets to fit his needs. My Mom also likes to shop but I get my bargain shopping from her - we try to always get the best deals possible - I guess my Dad is the same way but he doesn't pay as much attention to the bargains you can gain.

So unfortunately, it looks like the 2-second answer is correct - I am more like my Dad. I do hope that I am as active as my Dad when I hit the 60s but I am still keeping the fingers crossed that I don't end up like either of my parents when I'm older. My husband already has the thumbs up to slap me silly if I start showing my parents' tendencies (have to take precautionary measures).