Living with A.D.D.

We hear a lot about kids with A.D.D. (attention defecit disorder). In short, it usually means when kids have a hard time concentrating on one subject or one activity and are jittery and eager to move on to the next thing. But what we don't hear a lot about is adults living with A.D.D. I believe I am living with adult A.D.D. - this is self-diagnosed, of course, but I'll let you know what I go through and you can decide.

I did some research yesterday and they say that a lot of adults don't realize that they're living with Adult ADD because they don't recognize the symptoms but often mistake them for having a stressful life. The site I was on even provided six simple questions to see if, at a high level, I could potentially be living with Adult ADD. Up until now, I have always told people that I think I have Adult ADD but never have I wanted to actually take a test to find out...but I did...and here's what happened.

Note: All answers are either: Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often, Very Often
1) How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?
A: Rarely. Because my job is project based, I actually have the sole responsibility of seeing it through from inception to implementation. Otherwise, I think I've chosen the wrong field to be in.

2) How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?
A: Rarely. I'm actually quite an organized person. I do have a little trouble getting started on things but that's just procrastination. But once I do get started, I don't have a problem prioritizing and organizing and doing time management...afterall, that's one of the first things you learn as a business major.

3) How often do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?
A: Rarely. I write everything down. I have three calendars at my office - I write down all appointments and set up reminders in my Outlook.

4) When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?
A: Sometimes. As I said before, I'm somewhat of a procrastinator. I actually work better under pressure.

5) How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands or your feet when you have to sit down for a long time?
A: Often. And I don't think it has anything to do with the topic or activity going on - I think it has more to do with the fact that I had lower back surgery and I cannot sit or stand in one place for long periods of time, as told to me by my doctor, because I will become uncomfortable.

6) How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor?
A: Rarely. Shouldn't this be a result of caffeine? I don't drink a lot of caffeine and if I did, it does nothing to me. But if something isn't getting done, I'll do it to pick up the slack. But I can't say that I'm overly active...a bit of a scheduler and planner but not overly active.

So the result was this: "Your responses do not indicate a likelihood of Adult ADD."

I disagree. I don't think those questions really capture the essence of my self-diagnosed ADD. Here are some examples of why I believe I might have Adult ADD:
1) When watching TV, I need to be able to flip from channel to channel and I'm always looking for something better to watch. If I do get roped into watching something, during commercial breaks, I need to move to something else with actual programming. And sometimes, I forget what I was watching in the first place. That is why that 'Last Channel' button is so handy.

2) When out with friends or during an activity, I find myself thinking and my eyes wandering to other things - like 'What's going on over there?' or 'Who just walked in?' For example, when we went out for a friend's birthday to play ping pong, during the ping pong games, I would have one eye playing ping pong and the other eye always looking to see who was around. I got yelled at for not "fully" paying attention to the ping pong game.

3) I don't think I can watch a sporting event with complete attention -and sometimes, halfway through, I need to do something else...talk to people, observe others, etc. I can get fidgety.

4) I'm a big multi-tasker....at work, I can be on a call for a meeting but find myself doing a myriad of other things - writing up documents, doing research, writing in blogs, etc.

So if these things don't point to some kind of ADD, then what is wrong with me? Could it be as simple as I bore easily or I just always need to be doing something? I don't think so - I think there's more to it. But I'm not overly concerned that I need to go see a doctor about it. I can live with my self-diagnosis.

The Cupcake Is Not The Enemy

As you may recall from "Trash T.V. Returns," The Biggest Loser is in my lineup of Ti-Fauxed shows this season. I love to see the contestants' "transformations." In fact, I have always loved makeover shows. I also like to look at Bob, the trainer. He seems to genuinely care about his team, and he's also h-o-t hot!

Last week, they had a "temptation" challenge for the three trainers (there are three teams this season: blue, red, and black). The trainers were faced with a table of cupcakes. If one of the trainers picked (i.e. ate) the right cupcake, that trainer's team would get some kind of advantage in the challenge for the week.

Now, I have seen a lot of cupcakes in my day. And let me tell you - these cupcakes were gorgeous. They were different colors. Some had sprinkles. They made me happy just to look at them.

The host, Alison Sweeney (a.k.a. Sami on Days of Our Lives) asked the trainers when was the last time they ate a cupcake. The two women trainers both claimed they could not remember. Bob, bless his heart, said a few months ago - but it was only half a cupcake.

In the end, none of the trainers gave into the temptation. They all forfeited the mystery "prize." They would not be lured under the spell of the evil cupcake. They cited setting a good example for the team members, for whom eating things like cupcakes had paved the way for obesity.

But I call bullshit. Are you telling me that with all of that sweating those people do spending hours upon hours at the gym that they can never treat themselves with a little cupcake? We're not talking a gallon of ice cream in one sitting. I realize the contestants on that show have problems with food, but I wonder how depriving them of anything "bad" may hurt them in the long run. I smell binge. And it's stinky.

I say, let them eat cupcakes!!

Winner!!!!

There is always something so alluring about raffles - don't you think?
During our football game viewings, we have halftime raffle prizes - where we raffle off merchandise from Purdue...or more recently, we decided to go nostalgic and also raffle off stuff from around campus - like the local bars, record store, eateries, etc. I think it was a good idea - thanks to one of our friends from Boston who also runs the raffles for their local Boston club.
But to get back to the point, these raffles are quite the draw - especially when we have good stuff being raffled off. The regulars, at these game viewings, oftentimes ask when we're selling raffle tickets or already have their money whipped out and waved at me so I know that they want to purchase some raffle tickets. The non-regulars often quirk an eyebrow and wonder what the heck we're doing in the 2nd quarter when we start moving about the crowd with a roll of raffle tickets, an ice bucket for the tickets and fishbowl full of money.

For those non-regulars, my sales pitch goes like this:
"Would you like to buy some raffle tickets?" (Notice I say some, and not one.)
If they ask, "What is this for?" this is where the real sales pitch comes out:
"You're buying tickets to try and win cool Purdue stuff." (is the wallet out?)
If yes --> "It's $1 /ticket, 6 tickets for $5, 12 for $10...you can do the math after that."
If wallet has not been taken out yet --> "The money goes towards the scholarship fund...so it's for the children."
Is the wallet out yet?
If yes, revert to prices above.
If still not out, I yell, "IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN!"
At this last remark, they usually do try and scrounge up some cash and if they only purchase a single ticket, I usually say, "All it takes is a dollar and a dream. Thank you."
Some of the younger alums start reaching in their pockets and some do hesitate but then I reassure them, "I do accept laundry money." I say this with a smile...and believe it or not, I have received laundry money. I always reassure them that it's for a good cause. Maybe I should try and work in the angle of "Pay it forward" if they're still hesitant - we'll see if I can do that at the next viewing.

Okay so you might be saying to yourself incoming college students are not children - more like young adults. But in my case, they are children - so no, I'm not misrepresenting here.

And then when we finally do the raffles at halftime, wow - it's a big deal. People crowd around...the crowd gets eerily quiet just so they can see if they're a winner....and once they do win, it's all cheers and some jeers - but mainly cheers.

But it's not only winning raffles that makes you feel good - it's winning auction items too - like from eBay. I recently won an item on eBay - being the lone bidder, my chances were pretty good....but when you're up in an auction with multiple bids, it can get cutthroat. I remember looking for an 80s prom dress (two years ago) to wear to an 80s cover band concert (the Legwarmers - they're fabulous) and if you can believe it, I was up against like four other bidders in two different auctions. I also happened to be on vacation so I was constantly checking the bids, seeing if I was the highest bidder. I couldn't get to the computer hours prior to the auction closing, so needless to say, I lost out on two auctions. Who knew 80s prom dresses were in such high demand. I was pretty down about losing those auctions but fear not - I managed to find a great 80s dress at the local church, in rural Indiana (at 50% off $10 - you can't beat that)...now there was a great source for flashback clothing!

But let's not beat around the bush - it feels good to win just about anything (as long as you don't cheat along the way). And that is my PSA (public service announcement) for the month.

Is She Kidding?

I had to post about this because I just got it in email - and apparently, there was an article written about it in the New York Times. You should probably read the posting and response below first before the editorial from the New York Times.
(NYT article link: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/08/business/media/08golddigger.html?em&ex=1192075200&en=d2254eba774acf26&ei=5087%0A)

The Posting:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

THE ANSWER:
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

My Take:

Those 'not so good looking' gals on Park Avenue are probably not superficial, shallow gold-diggers like the girl that posted the original message. I have to agree with the Responder - she is risky business...other than looks (which she talks a lot about), she really doesn't bring a lot to the table. She talks nothing about her personality and positive qualities...oh wait, she's articulate (good, she speaks English well) and she's classy...umm, I'd have to disagree with that one - airing your gold-digging frustrations on Craigs List screams everything BUT classy. If she really wants to attract someone, she needs to give us something other than looks (because articulate and classy are out the door at this point) - bring something meaningful to the table - maybe, "I am a 25 year old college grad working as a ...." But instead, her posting, to me, screams shallow. And really, what is keeping her from making her own millions. If she made $250K and the guy she dated before made $250K, then together, they would be able to move to CPW (Central Park West) like she wanted. But it sounds like she's too dumb to even get to six figures - plus she's only 25 - she's probably barely making $40K.

She should've just come out and said it - I'm a gold digger in search of sugar daddy....or I'm Anna Nicole Smith reincarnated...give us SOMETHING to work with!

Time to Get Serious

Last night, at dance class, our teacher announces that we're going to have a recital. Amanda and I had thought, when we first started this class in Feb '07 that we would have a recital at the end of that session but that didn't happen. Friends have asked us when we would have a recital but we would always shrug and respond with, 'Don't know.' But now, if someone asks, 'Are you having a recital?' we can proudly say, 'Yes, yes we are!'

Miss Angelica (our teacher) said that she was thinking of bringing it back old school. We are all for that. I would be all for her teaching us 'Beat It' by MJ but it looks like she's going to do some old school dancing with new school music. She had mentioned 'Stronger' by Kanye which has some old school sounds - so I'm okay with that too. She even mentioned that we could do some Rhythm Nation which would be SO freakin' cool - I'd be excited for that because I know a lot of the dance to that. (I wanted to be Janet so badly when I was growing up.) But it looks like we're going to have to step up our break dancing - cause she showed us some 'ace bandage' stuff for our wrists in case we get ouchies from dancing!

Not only are we getting our recital with a whole routine and everything, we're also going to get costumes - nothing too scandalous, for the youngins' in the class, but something really snazzy, I hope. So after that little talk last night, we did some dancing that I have no idea if it will be part of THE dance recital routine. I got home last night and excitedly told my husband (without chip shrapnel) that we were going to have a recital. He was about as excited as the Cubs losing in the playoffs to the Diamondbacks (he's a Cubs fan)...but he'll come out and he'll support me so that's all I can ask for.

So now it's time to get serious. Less laughing (I laugh quite a bit in class). And try not to look silly - that's going to be hard since I'm not exactly as flexible or lithe as I once was...way back when....around the pre-teen era. But I'm going to try. We even have a classmate that is rearranging her trip to the Honduras to be at this recital. She was like 'I need to be at this recital -I will change my flight.' I thought maybe she was going for Habitat for Humanity - so it sounds like, for her, dancing comes before homeless people. True dat.

A Pocket Full of Posey

This weekend, I took my annual trip to visit my friend Michelle in New York. We always have lots of fun. I insist on shopping every time, and Michelle insists on resisting purchases while I ALWAYS buy something. But New York is just too cool. There is always something I can't pass up.

But the most exciting thing about this particular trip happened mere minutes before I hopped into a cab to LaGuardia. Michelle and I walked with my bags to Starbucks for a quick breakfast bite, and there she was, crossing the street towards us as we crossed to Starbucks: Parker Posey.

The streets were not very busy because it was Sunday morning. She was just walking her little dog. The three of us were the only ones in the crosswalk. I felt a little bad staring at her face, but I immediately recognized her, only to have it confirmed by Michelle who turned to me as soon as we passed and said, "Do you know who that was?"

Parker Posey - the Queen of the Indies.

I wanted to tell her I love her. I wanted to shout out, “That’s not a bee – that’s a bear in a bee costume!!” But I obviously said nothing. I was so disappointed by the reactions I got from Jason Alexander and Todd Eldredge (who probably means nothing to most of you, but I used to be figure skating obsessed - Todd was probably #2 after Paul Wylie). I think it was the right call this time.

But I’m not going to lie. I was on a cloud the whole way home.

A Dress-y Weekend

Amanda took a trip up to NYC this past weekend and guess what - she found the Tommy Hilfiger dress I have been coveting for the past couple of months (see pic in last post). So it is there - you just have to know where to go...apparently, it's the Tommy Hilfiger Boutique in New York. Not only was she able to see it, touch it, smell it, etc...she also told me that they would be able to order it, ship it down to VA and if I didn't love it, I could ship it back. Now that's service.

This past weekend, I was able to get some "me" time in - after the weeks of travelling and just getting settled back into a routine. I decided that this was the weekend that I would find a dress for the London wedding we (Amanda, myself and some other Purdue folks) are going to attend over Thanksgiving.

I originally ordered one online but when I got it and tried it on, it looked like drapery on me - I felt like one of the von Trapp Children and wanted to start yodeling (High on a hill lived a ...nevermind). So that had to be taken back to Nordstrom...pronto. Nordstrom actually has a GREAT selection of shoes and dresses online - the problem is that they don't carry nearly half of them in the store, especially the dresses. So I brought it back and decided to peruse the 'Special Occassion' section just to see what they did have. There was this Shoshanna dress that looked fabulous on but with a $350 price tag, I had to reluctantly pass. The ladies in the department were most helpful, after I explained what I needed a dress for and all that. They brought me a wide variety of dresses, including this black and gold Tina Turner looking dress that clearly wasn't me but I tried it on for giggles...one of the ladies loved it. I disagreed...I think it was the high neck collar that really made me uncomfortable. They brought me this BCBG dress that was a black slip dress with a chiffon overlay. The sleeves were long chiffon but had elastic bands in three places down the sleeve so it looked like a cross between something a witch and a tavern wench might wear. My arms, though, did feel like sausages. I mean, the dress looked nice, but to wear it, I would have to go against every fiber in my being that protested beer wench sleeves (cause they're SO 90s). So I had them put it to the side while I went to my favorite store in Old Town - Diva!

The ladies at Diva Boutique are fabulous. They know Amanda and I probably because we go in a lot and never seem to leave empty handed. I headed in and told them what was going on and they were only too happy to oblige. They set up a dressing room with lots of different dresses and I actually found on that matched my Chanel shoes to a TEE (which I also happened to purchase at Diva). They couldn't have been more helpful or excited...and instead of spending hundreds on a dress, I ended up purchasing my dress for $68. I think I have to do some minor adjustments to it but in the end, I couldn't be happier. The ladies went on and on about how the dress and the shoes went perfectly and how I needed to 'Chanel' it out for the wedding - with pearls. They're so fun.

I did feel bad, however, for not going back for the items at Nordstrom - but I didn't need anymore temptation...besides, they get enough of my business throughout the year - and Christmas shopping hasn't even begun.