Tap, Tap, Tap...is This Thing On?

We are all guilty of spacing out during face to face conversations - some more often than others, but I'm sure everyone has experienced it at some point in their lives, whether they are the spacer or the spacee. I'm one of those 'more often than others' spacers...reference 'Living with (self-diagnosed) Adult ADD': http://morningcupcake.blogspot.com/2007/10/living-with-add.html.

It's not just face-to-face conversations with me, though. It happens on the phone too - I end up multi-tasking or worse: watching TV while on the phone with someone - that's really bad - and all you get out of me is 'uh huh' or 'yeah.' In hindsight, I feel bad for those that have had to deal with me on the phone during one of these "episodes." I can imagine the people on the other side wondering if they're talking to a brick wall. Short answer: yes.

But email is a whole different story. Email is something that you do on your own time and schedule. You write an email when you want to get in touch with someone. You respond to an email when you want to keep the conversation going. But to totally ignore an email without a response or even a 'hey, I got it - I'll respond back later'? That's unacceptable to me. Cause then I'm left wondering - did they ever get the email? Did I do something to make them mad? Do I smell? Really - all these things run through my mind when I don't hear back from people - and then I go from wonderment to anger.

The anger stems from a lack of response within a "courteous" amount of time. If I have an email out there (especially one that is awaiting a response), I give people about 48 hours to respond back to me. 90% of my acquaintances are in front of a computer at some point of the day - so I think 48 hours is fairly reasonable. Of course there are certain situations where I know I won't get that response - vacation and illness are pretty much the only two I'll allow longer wait period- and of course death, because who can stop death? But really - I'm only asking for a little common courtesy. A 'hey - let me think about that' or 'hey - I got your message - let's talk next week.' Is that too much to ask? Are my email response standards too high?

I sent out this email a few days ago asking a budget question for an event to be held in nine weeks. The event is a small-ish reception - about 50-70 people. But still - a locale needs to be secured, food needs to be ordered, information needs to go out, marketing needs to take place - it's like a mini-banquet in nine weeks. I sent out a couple of emails to people that say they want to be involved but somehow don't respond to anything you send them. Great. So then I'm left to my own devices to figure out where and when to have this little event. I've pretty much homed in on a venue and prices - but another one of my emails about budgets went unanswered until today - it was sent out about four days ago. (I'll let it slide because it's still the holidays and I'm not a total bah-humbug.) I've already responded with the information I've gathered (oh look - less than an hour) and will now give it 'til Monday before I probably start pulling my hair out.

I shouldn't have to feel like I'm "talking to a brick wall" via email.

Resolutions Take Two

I don't generally make New Year's Resolutions. Just like I don't usually give stuff up for Lent. I say silly things like "I'm going to give up running," but I don't ever give up chocolate or caffeine or anything - to me, that's just sacrilege. It's amazing I was ever able to make it through the first phase of the South Beach diet (never again).

But this year, I'll give it a go. I am keeping it general, and if I fail, I fail. But I am writing it here with the hope that it might make me somewhat more accountable. I don't want to have to finish 2008 with my tail between my legs. So here it is. My Resolution for 2008:

Finish What I Started

Pretty broad, right? I'll break it down for you. "Finish What I Started" includes, but is not limited to:

• Picking up the guitar again. It's been hanging out in the corner of my living room - just enough so that visitors can say, "hey - I didn't know you played guitar . . ." well, I kind of do. Just not lately. I am going to have to relearn that damn F chord at this point.

• Ditto for the piano. It sits in my basement just longing for the movie scores it once enjoyed at length - "Schindler's List" was its favorite. Depressing, yes. But beautiful, minor key music. Especially the song "I Could Have Done More."

• Finishing that shift dress. Jen and I had this great idea one time after trying on $200+ simple 60's mod shift dresses at a cute Dupont boutique. The great idea, of course, was "We could totally make these ourselves." Could being the operative word there. Not that we didn't try. What I made was barely wearable. My husband had to be totally honest with me and commented "the neck looks too high." He was right. It was jacked up. I vowed to fix it. Yeah right. The dress, pattern, material, notions, etc. are all sitting in a plastic bin (see "Wal-mart is My Nemesis") in my linen closet.

• Writing my book. I'm throwing this out there - again, for the accountability factor. I decided some time last year that I would try my hand at a novel. Not anything fancy. Nothing particularly moving. Just your standard chick lit fare. I've read tons of them, and I think I have some things to say. What I didn't count on was how difficult it would be to write dialogue. At this point, everything my characters say seems so forced. So I'm going to work on that.

• Returning the Net Flix Movies I Will Never Ever Choose To Watch. Why would I watch "Good Night and Good Luck" when there are reruns of "Project Runway" on? Or sanitized versions of "Sex and the City" on TBS? Heck, even "Two and a Half Men?" The answer - I wouldn't. This is why I have had this movie in my living room since January 2007. That's not even an exaggeration. Sorry George Clooney. It was nice knowing you. (Now I know this is not really finishing what I started. It's quitting. But I need to do something. And what I won't do is watch that movie.)

• Finishing my Christmas Cards. So what if you get yours on Valentine's Day? That's why I cleverly chose "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas" (in addition to not wanting to exclude my Jewish friends, of course). That's why I did not put 2007 on the cards. It's nice to get a little surprise mail, isn't it? Especially in February, when the weather is bad, and it's just kind of gloomy.

The Failed Resolution(s)

Having been on this planet for almost 32 years, an "adult" for ummm...let's say almost 14 years,
and a WISER adult for uhhhh....probably eight of those 14, I know better now, when asked what my New Year Resolutions are, the ones that most certainly WILL NOT make the list.

There are of course the standard ones:
Numero Uno: Lose Weight. Who doesn't want to lose weight? I think a majority of the nation wants to lose weight or else we wouldn't have such programming like 'The Biggest Loser' or 'Celebrity Fit Club.' You could even add 'Dancing with the Stars' to that list because after the first season, there were a bunch of celebs trying to get on the show for the sole reason of trying to get in better shape and lose weight. (It's just masked as a dancing competition.)
Why won't I put it on my resolutions list? I stopped talking about weight because my body is my body and I have accepted it for what it's worth. God gave me what I have and I do what I need to do - various sports, the gym and dance class. So I'm not a size 4/6 - I'm okay with that....to me, losing weight and staying healthy is a long term commitment. There are definitely parts of my body that need some work - back fat, lady lumps, love handles, etc but I'm working on it - and that's all I can do.

Number Two: Be nicer. Who couldn't be nicer? The whole world could stand to be nicer. But if everyone was nice, then we'd be living in Pleasantville wouldn't we, and some of us saw what happened there....
Why won't I put it on my resolutions list? Many could tell you that I can certainly stand to be nicer. In general, like 85% of the time, I think I am a nice person. Could I go the extra mile and be like 99% nice? Sure. Do I want to? No. Why? That's no fun.

Number Three: Save Money. I actually think this comes in right behind the losing weight as one of the most popular. Everyone needs to save money. For goodness sakes - my generation keeps contributing to social security but when we reach retirement age, we probably won't see a dime. But I'm not looking that far ahead in the future - I have my 401K (or four-oh-wunk, as Phoebe, from 'Friends,' refers to it), investments, and thankfully, my parents to fall back on if I ever get into trouble. But in thinking about it, I think my finances are pretty sound. Since buying a house, I have tried to be more careful to not become 'house poor' but I know I'll see that money come back around in tax returns and overall long term investment incentives.
Why won't I put it on my resolutions list? If I had a $1 for every time that I said I wanted to save more money...blah blah blah. So I finally came to the realization that if I keep putting this one on my resolutions list, I will have broken it within the first 48 hours of the new year, guaranteed. So I don't add it to the list - it's not possible. I look at it like this...my husband and I are in a financial position to buy what we need and occasionally by what we want (my wants more so than his, unfortunately...for him). It just comes down to being smarter with our finances. Now that we have a new house and a mortgage payment, and I've had about four months of experience with working with that payment and the house bills and house necessities, I need to be more careful with the wants versus the needs...and again, this is a long-term thing and will be ongoing.

You might be asking yourself, what is on her list then? Glad you asked - here they are:
1) Keep Reading. Some people might laugh at the phrasing - keep reading. Usually you might see 'Read More' or 'Read less' but growing up, I was never a big reader. It wasn't until I hit a personal low in 2006 that I started reading - and reading ferociously, I might add. So I'd like to keep on reading and expand my reading categories to more than just romance. But I'm not knocking down the romances completely because they really helped me get out of my rut and sparked a HUGE interest, in me, of British history. I ended my last book in 2007 with a style guide book but during the week of Christmas and New Years Day, I managed to purchase three books, that are now all on my nightstand.

2) Be a good President. No, I'm not running for office - probably a good thing for this nation and the world - but in the latter half of 2007, I became President of the Purdue Club of DC. I learned that we are the fourth largest alumni club in the nation, behind Chicago, Indianapolis (both of which have the geographic advantage) and LA. Honestly where LA came from, I have no idea, but one of my goals, during my tenure as President, is to make DC the third largest club in the nation. Watch out LA, it's all about the East Side!

3) Have another Girl Trip - The trip we had over Thanksgiving was SO MUCH FUN that I can't wait for the next one! And maybe more girlfriends can join!

4) Take a trip with my husband - my husband is, admittedly, not a good traveler. Therefore we didn't go on ANY vacations together in 2007. So for 2008, I'm looking forward to spring training in Arizona, in March, and a nice, long weekend away for our five year wedding anniversary. We're also planning a week-long Outer Banks trip with the whole clan including my sister's family and her brother in-laws - you know, the "kids."

So I'm looking forward to a good 2008 with my attainable New Year Resolutions! Wish me luck!

The Girl Crush

Jen and I have spent some time detailing our various celebrity crushes. Our crushes on the opposite sex. But we haven't yet talked about another kind of crush, a crush that can often be much scarier - the girl crush.

I have had a lot of girl crushes in my life: the young mother across the street when I was about 7 years old (my friend Lori and I both had a crush on her), one of the first grade teachers in my elementary school, a law school professor (I shared this one with a friend too - my roommate Heather was so bummed at graduation that this professor hooded me, but Heather had to be hooded by some far less savy male law professor), the spinning instructor at my gym, and numerous others, several of whom I've been lucky enough to befriend.

The common characteristics of my girl crushes are: (1) the object of my girl crush is strong (intelligent, athletic, and/or brave), put together (fashionable or exhibiting a healthy "I don't give a crap" style), and generally admirable; and (2) I want the object of my girl crush to like me. It's this second characteristic that is the scary one. The last thing I ever want to do is freak out the girl crush! This is particularly a problem when the girl crush is someone I would actually like to hang out with - a peer - as opposed to a teacher figure, from whom I seek a less personal or frequent gesture of approval.

I think - how do I "ask out" this girl? What if she says no? This isn't like a romantic crush. If I try to ask out this girl to be a new friend and she says no, I can't just say to myself, "maybe she just doesn't like 5'4" brown-eyed bleach blondes ..." Oh no. Unlike a romantic partner, this girl can have any number of friends. A "no" is kind of like saying, "sorry - I just don't like your personality very much," or worse, "you remind me a little too much of Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female."

Girl crushes. Not for the faint of heart.

My Political Sighting

Living in DC, you don't get many celebrity sightings. Other than the occasional celeb that comes into DC to speak on Capitol Hill, the most exciting sighting you can expect to find is that of an athlete (but do you really know what all of those guys look like?) or a political/news figure. I've had a few political figure sightings during my time in DC but none as big as the one I had this past weekend.

A group of us (husband, sister, nephews) went to hibachi for dinner on Saturday night, by request of Kevin, the older nephew. A fairly new place just opened up by our home - no, it's not the Asian Hooters (aka - Beni Hana). It's called Sakura. They have a sushi area and then a big hibachi area in the back. I only go to Hibachi when people are in town as Hibachi is not really very healthy, but that's besides the point. We were seated at a hibachi table and the five of us took up one half of the table. Each table seats 10 so the other half was taken up by a party of four consisting of a man, his wife, a son and their son's friend. In comparison to other tables, we had a very relaxed and quiet table. Our side was tired from the day's activities and bagging up the remainder of the leaves from around the house. The other side - couldn't tell you why they were so quiet. But from the moment they sat down, I kept thinking to myself, 'That guy looks SO familiar!' All throughout dinner, I kept thinking of places where I might know this man from. No one in the rest of his party looked familiar to me - so it was bugging me that I couldn't place a name with his face.

My sister decided to take a picture of my husband and Kevin - so she did that and the nice woman across the table asked if she wanted us to have a group picture - we said sure so the son's friend took our picture and that was that. Dinner was over. When we finally made it outside, I told my sister - 'That guy looked so familiar.' Then she said the words that made everything click, 'He kinda looks like that Rodriguez guy from government.' And that was it - I kept thinking maybe I saw his picture on Realtor listings because we had been house hunting for as long as this guy was actually in office.

Next came the "what's his first name" game. With a last name like Gonzales, the only first name that kept coming to me was 'Tony' but he's a TE for the KC Chiefs. My sister said, 'Juan' but he's a baseball player. It was killing me that we couldn't figure out his first name. So when we got home, I immediately did a search on 'Attorney General Gonzales' because by now, I figured out that he was the ex-Attorney General. And sure enough - there was a whole mess of listings for Alberto Gonzales. But the real confirmation had to come from a photo of his wife - she actually spoke to us and was nice so I would be able to identify her - and I saw a picture of Alberto, his wife, with the Bushes - and knew that we had just had dinner with Alberto Gonzales.

I called my brother-in-law to tell him because he likes watching 'Meet the Press' and all that other political stuff - he was too busy playing Wii with the dudes to talk much. He did ask if I spoke to him. Yeah right - had I known who he was at the time, what would I say? 'So - whatcha been up to? Freelancing much?'

The next night, I called my Dad to tell him because he knows his stuff - and after I told him about having dinner with Alberto Gonzales, let's just say that I'm REALLY glad my Dad wasn't with us during this dinner. My Dad went off on what a crook he was, how he was Bush's running dog and so on and so forth - and he ended it by saying, 'If I were you, I would've got up and left.' Well - it's not like we asked to be placed with the Gonzaleses - in fact, we were the first ones at the hibachi table. And the fact that I couldn't remember who he was helped keep me in my seat for the duration of dinner.

So there it is - my big, scandalous political sighting. I don't think anyone else knew who he was - but that's okay - wouldn't want to draw negative and unwanted attention to our table.

Happy New Year!