Just Another Pretty Face

Greeting, from Dallas, TX!
I've been in the Lone Star State for the past few days at a summit. I came out a day early to provide some extra training to one of my user groups and also in hopes of getting Dallas Cowboys gear for the Dallas fans of the family....mission accomplished.

Thursday and Friday consisted of all day meetings to talk about different applications that are trying to satisfy multiple user groups that are basically performing the same job function. Their job title denotes that they are one in the same. But among that title, they are broken up into several segments. And then within those segments, they're further broken down by regions and then so on and so on. Four years on my tool and numerous conversations with different users will tell you that you're not going to get one tool to satisfy all these people.

There were about eight tools that presented in total. Among them, I only consider two others my main competition. They were scheduled to present before me so I would've rounded out the three that are really in the main running to become the main tool of this user group. For the first of the two to present, I skewered him alive. The presenter was up there and I asked my pointed, well thought out questions and stared him down with my most intimidating look. Do you know what I wanted to do after he was done presenting? I wanted to look at him and do the 'You're Fired' cobra-like, Donald Trump hand gesture- that's what it felt like. Then the second guy presented the second tool. This is where things got sticky. The presenter was NOTHING like we thought he would be - this guy is young (early 30s) and good looking - think Robin Thicke with no facial hair and brown eyes or a very young Rupert Everett. Most of the summit attendees are women. All I could think was 'DAMN - he's going to get him on his looks alone.' I wasn't able to ask as many pointed questions to this guy because I wasn't as prepared for him as I was for the first guy. Frankly, I, too, was drawn in by his good looks. But I got some questions off and tried to derail him as best I could....don't know if it worked.

Well my presentation got pushed to the first presentation the next day - that was fine by me. I needed time to regroup, think about my game plan, how I was going to make believers out of these people and make them forget that good looking guy in the room. What ended up happening at the end of the first day? A seafood dinner, lots of girl talk and a shot of Tequila to end the night. I think that was the better route. But during dinner, I got the support I really needed and it became more apparent, through discussions with Mr. Good Looking (who ended up at the same restaurant) that he isn't all that.

In this business, you need to get out there and listen to the people as a whole - he's only listening to them on a case-by-case business. Dude, that's not going to win you any fans. My presentation went really well - I covered all the points that those other guys were lacking. My usage numbers blew their usage numbers out of the water. And what conclusion did I come to at the end of my presentation? Mr. Good Looking is just another pretty face in the crowd. He didn't win me over with any substance and that's all he's going to be to me. All face, no substance....sigh!

Busy v. Bored

"When it rains, it pours" applies to so many facets of life. But I tend to experience that phenomenon the most in the work setting. My posts lately have left a lot to be desired, mostly because every morning when I arrive at work, I feel I'm already behind before I can even turn on my computer. I had to take a break last week to dash off to the salon for a 30-minute back massage. And you can trust me - this was not a luxury but a necessity. My upper back was in so many knots; not a single sitting position was pain free. I even got a little lecture from the therapist about holding the phone up to my ear with my left shoulder.

Things are still pretty crazy around here. But it is not always that way. Sometimes, the days drag along . . . And I can't figure out which is worse: so busy that you barely have time to scarf down a sandwich at your computer? or clockwatching?

I kept longing for the days of happy medium. Superlatives are overrated.

Real Men of Genius

As you can probably tell from previous posts, my drive from the Detroit airport last week to my parents' house was quite eventful. One of the highlights was catching a Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercial on the radio. Radio commercials are notorious for sucking, but these Bud Light commercials are hilarious. I heard "Mr. Overly Competitive Touch Football Game Player" and laughed out loud driving down Rochester Road.

When I got home, of course, I had to hit google to see if I could score another listen. Sure enough, some guy compiled most of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials. Here is the link.

http://www.allowe.com/Humor/audioRMOG.htm

Mr. Overly Competitive Touch Football Game Player was just as funny the second time through. But there are some other gems too. In particular, check out Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy, which lauds, "Thanks to you, our team is armed with game winning tips like catch the ball, and throw it."

Pumpkin Season

It's pumpkin season!! Hooray! Even though the day highs are still averaging in the 70s here, the morning starts out crisp and cool. And I am getting excited that it's pumpkin season.

I've kicked off the fall season with a few pumpkin spice frappuccinos at Starbucks (side note: my brother's friend calls it "Four Bucks," which is very clever and I'm going to try to use from now on. Have I ever spent less than four bucks there? Yes. But it's rare). When it gets a little colder, I will switch to the hot latte variety.

When I was driving from the Detroit airport to my parents' house last weekend, I almost stopped at the Rochester Cider Mill for cider and doughnuts. What is it about cider mill doughnuts? 9 times out of 10, I have no interest in the plain cake doughnut. Not even in the munchkin form. But when it's washed down with some fresh cider . . . delicious.

It's too bad that winter has to follow autumn. But as much as I loved living in Austin, Texas, this was the one thing I missed - no fall. No turning of the leaves, no crisp fall weather. Going to a University of Texas game all dressed up was not the same as going to a Purdue football game in a scarf and mittens.

One Saturday last year, I went shopping with Jen for a few hours. My husband was in the mood to make pumpkin bread and decided to head to Cox farm to pick up some ingredients. I came home from my shopping adventure to find a display at my front door of hay bales, gourds, pumpkins, and Indian corn. And greeting me at the top of the stairs was a pumpkin carved in the shape of a cat face - all lit up.

Man, I love pumpkin season!

Convertible Weather

What is convertible weather? I am not an owner of a convertible but I've been in a few in my day. My idea of convertible weather is warm, sunny, not so windy - throw on some sunglasses, a hat and you're off. I could be totally wrong because there were some drivers that thought 56 degrees was convertible weather.

I was driving into work this morning and the temperature was brisk this morning. Fall is definitely here. So I'm sitting in my car with the heater turned to 74 degrees, layers of clothing on including a jacket (button down, cardigan, jacket). I'm not even in my car for five minutes before I pass a guy in a convertible. His side windows were up but the top was down. I looked at the outside temp - 56 degrees. Yikes. Add to that the wind that you get when you drive? That can't be a pleasant drive. Two minutes later, I saw another guy with his top down, side windows up. I guess having the side windows up cuts down on the brisk wind slashing at your face - but this, to me, is really not convertible weather.

So all I could think of was, 'Maybe they have their tops down so they can show off that they have a convertible.' Well, big, freakin' deal. While you have your top down...and your fingers are turning blue and your teeth are chattering, I'm perfectly fine behind the wheel with the heat on. At least I won't show up to work looking like a popsicle.

It might just be my lack of understanding for not having owned a convertible but I think the cut off of having the top down is somewhere in the high 60s. There must be some secret society of convertible drivers out there that I don't know about.

Me Time

I am a social person by nature. I like meeting new people. I rarely say no to invitations. I love laughing and carrying on with my friends and my family.

But I also love my special "me" time. Even though I have lived alone for most of my adult life, I still enjoy traveling alone (to be clear - alone during the journey - not the destination). I know a lot of people who are scared of flying. I have never been one of those people. With all of the discomforts of a raggedy seat in coach, I still love the one perk - that I have my "Amanda time." This is my time to catch up on reading: first the trashy tabloids and tabloid-lites (I get through these quickly), then the new novel. Sometimes, I still have my face in my book as I deplane.

I could just as easily read at home, I suppose. But I don't. When I am at home, I'm always distracted by what else I need to do. Laundry, cleaning, running errands, watching my trash t.v. It is only during captive travel that I have that special time set aside where all I can do to entertain myself is to read. And every time I do, I am reminded of the power and the magic of the written word.

So hats off to you, Mr. Gutenberg.

Attack of the Snog Monster

Because I took two days off last week, I actually have a lot of catch up work to do before I head out again this week for business...but I felt I needed to close out the final chapter of the Snog Monster.

The Snog Monster taught me a lot. It taught me that you don't have to have your mouth open to make the loudest snoring noises known to man. It taught me that tossing and turning does not settle the Snog Monster down but only makes it more agitated and the snoring begins almost immediately when in a new position. But most importantly, it taught me that it not only annoys and drives one crazy with it's constant, loud noises but it is capable of the sudden attack in the middle of the night. That's right - you heard me. I was attacked.

There I was, in the middle of the night, with my screw in earplugs, hopped up on the standard dose of sleeping pills when Snoggy and I decided to change sleeping positions at the same time. I, from my side to my back; Snoggy, from it's side to the back. And out of nowhere, Snoggy's right arm reached out and 'Wa-Bam' - slammed me in the upper chest/shoulder. Of course Snoggy woke up and was apologizing profusely. I, on the hand, was pretty sedated and with the earplugs, I could barely hear it's apologies. So yeah, I was attacked by the Snog Monster and I survived.

The final night with the Snog Monster was pretty laid back. Of course Snog Monster managed to start snogging with eyes opened - how does this happen? And then Snoggy finally decided to go to bed and the snogging commenced almost immediately. This was my sign that my earplugs needed to be in. So I proceeded to screw them in my ears and take my sleeping pills. It was a pretty uneventful night- no attacks and Snoggy was a little more quiet.

But the thing that got me was every morning, I was, understandably, tired from the previous night's rest. When people questioned me about why I was so tired, I couldn't exactly state my reasons but guiltily blamed it on work (which I didn't even check while there). And Snoggy would constantly complain throughout the day that it, too, was tired. WHY?
Are you snoring so loud that you're keeping yourself awake? You seemed to be sleeping fine that first night when I was up for 80% of your sleeptime...so I don't get it. Some Snog Monsters are just completely clueless.

Alum/Non-Alum - What's the Difference?

This past Saturday morning, I flew up to Detroit to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday. It would be a whirlwind tour - leaving Washington on Saturday morning, renting a car in Detroit, and then back to Washington at the crack of dawn Sunday. The Detroit gate in Terminal A was a sea of maize and blue, evidently headed to Ann Arbor for the Michigan/Notre Dame game. I texted my friend Brian about it, and he quipped, "They probably got their tickets for free - ha ha!" Seriously, three weeks ago, if I were a Michigan grad, I may have sported my maize and blue proudly. But at 0-2? I might have gone with a subdued gray sweatshirt or something instead.

Two guys, in particular, stood out for me. They were not just in their Michigan jerseys. They were decked out with the matching hats (and probably matching socks, matching boxers, etc.). They were talking smack to some guy in a sport coat, who apparently was a Notre Dame alum. I wasn't listening too intently, but I did catch this. Neither one of these jokers was an actual Michigan grad. In fact, they went on about how they each pulled a 2.something GPA at whatever higher education institution was willing to admit them. Uh - not something to brag about, guys.

I stood there and said nothing, but these guys were just so over-the-top obnoxious, and the fact that they couldn't even back up their obnoxiousness with a Michigan degree just irked me. I mean, I guess I understand cheering for a school you didn't attend in a way - not everyone goes to a college that offers a decent team to follow (or at least a team that PLAYS decent teams). But to be that in-your-face about "your" team? Ridiculous. These guys were like 30-year old Al Bundys.

I had the great pleasure of running into my new friends at the Enterprise rental car office, and they were just as annoying there. No smack talk this time, but they were flirting with their rental agent, and were just . . .so. . .ew. I told them I saw them boarding my flight and they laughed, "Oh yeah - we were talking to that lame Notre Dame guy."

Where does this Michigan attitude come from? I can venture a guess. When I was in elementary school, we dedicated an entire day's course of music class on learning the Michigan school fight songs. We spent 45 minutes on "Hail to the Victors," but only had 10 minutes left to go over the Michigan State song. We had Michigan/Michigan State dress up day in junior high and high school. 90 percent of the student body donned maize and blue. Of course, at least half of those people ended up going to Michigan State because they didn't get into Michigan. This still kind of makes me chuckle.

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P.S. I have to give credit where credit is due. I appreciate the subtle (or not-so-subtle) jabs at other teams in college paraphenalia. One guy on the plane was wearing a yellow t-shirt that had an outline of the state of Ohio with the line "Worst State Ever." It wasn't even that clever, but I still found it hilarious. Kind of like that ESPN commercial with the guy in the Ohio State sweatshirt and the girl in the Michigan sweatshirt making out on the couch with the caption, "Without sports, this wouldn't be disgusting."

I had to add this Amanda - guess who was on the sidelines of the Michigan/ND game this weekend? Aussie at a college football game? Rumors are that he's friends with the coach. Ummm, at least Matthew McConaughey went to U of Texas.