Attack of the Snog Monster

Because I took two days off last week, I actually have a lot of catch up work to do before I head out again this week for business...but I felt I needed to close out the final chapter of the Snog Monster.

The Snog Monster taught me a lot. It taught me that you don't have to have your mouth open to make the loudest snoring noises known to man. It taught me that tossing and turning does not settle the Snog Monster down but only makes it more agitated and the snoring begins almost immediately when in a new position. But most importantly, it taught me that it not only annoys and drives one crazy with it's constant, loud noises but it is capable of the sudden attack in the middle of the night. That's right - you heard me. I was attacked.

There I was, in the middle of the night, with my screw in earplugs, hopped up on the standard dose of sleeping pills when Snoggy and I decided to change sleeping positions at the same time. I, from my side to my back; Snoggy, from it's side to the back. And out of nowhere, Snoggy's right arm reached out and 'Wa-Bam' - slammed me in the upper chest/shoulder. Of course Snoggy woke up and was apologizing profusely. I, on the hand, was pretty sedated and with the earplugs, I could barely hear it's apologies. So yeah, I was attacked by the Snog Monster and I survived.

The final night with the Snog Monster was pretty laid back. Of course Snog Monster managed to start snogging with eyes opened - how does this happen? And then Snoggy finally decided to go to bed and the snogging commenced almost immediately. This was my sign that my earplugs needed to be in. So I proceeded to screw them in my ears and take my sleeping pills. It was a pretty uneventful night- no attacks and Snoggy was a little more quiet.

But the thing that got me was every morning, I was, understandably, tired from the previous night's rest. When people questioned me about why I was so tired, I couldn't exactly state my reasons but guiltily blamed it on work (which I didn't even check while there). And Snoggy would constantly complain throughout the day that it, too, was tired. WHY?
Are you snoring so loud that you're keeping yourself awake? You seemed to be sleeping fine that first night when I was up for 80% of your sleeptime...so I don't get it. Some Snog Monsters are just completely clueless.