I kind of started something with the Trash T.V. post, so I'm continuing down that line with one of my favorite topics: bad movies. I thought it might be fun to compile a list of the worst movies we've seen and what made them so bad. I'm not talking about guilty pleasures here. I'm not talking about movies that are so bad they're good. I'm talking about the kind that are so bad, you wish you could have those two hours back, even to do something dreadful like scrub your bathroom tile with an old toothbrush. In no particular order (and subject to later supplementation), here's my list:
Movie: Here On Earth
Why it was so bad: When not just my friend Anita and I, but also the pack of teenage girls sitting in front of us in the theater started clapping and laughing at the dramatic height of the movie when Leelee Sobieski's character's knee gives out and she falls in the forest, I knew this was the stuff of legends. Chris Klein, we hardly knew ye.
Movie: The Perfect Man
Why it was so bad: I challenge you to find a worse teen actress than Hilary Duff. But she's not the only problem. Just one fine example of this masterpiece: the "love letter" supposedly written by the perfect man contains a sentence along the lines of "loving you makes me feel like I landed on a triple word score," and this drivel compels Heather Locklear to remark on the "wittiness" of her mystery suitor. This is followed by a riveting IM exchange that consists of a lot of "what are you thinking about?" and "my homemade ice cream would go great with your out-of-this world fudge brownies" which supposedly serve as the foundation for a perfect match between Heather Locklear and Chris Noth. No need to find out for yourself, you can trust me - it's that bad.
Movie: Simply Irresistible
Why it was so bad: Fortunately, I managed to block a lot of this movie out of my mind since declaring it the worst movie I saw in 1999. But I do recall there was a talking crab in it, and I kept thinking he would go well with a little mayonnaise and some bread crumbs.
Movie: Down To You
Why it was so bad: Julia Stiles is not exactly Meryl Streep, and Freddie Prinze, Jr. certainly doesn't do her any favors. The two had zero chemistry, and I'm pretty sure the UPS manual I read from cover to cover when temping as a receptionist had a better plot. On the plus side, it's always fun to see Henry Winkler.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Simply Irresistable is a good call - I am still upset with myself that I sat through most of it. The small screen to big screen crossover just isn't very successful (see below).
ReplyDeleteRumour Has It (J.Aniston and K.Costner)- I was FORCED to watch this on my flight from Colorado to DC (whereas on the route from DC to Colorado, I got to choose from five movies to watch) and I wanted my flight money back afterwards - horrible. Thumbs down.