Let's Not Go There......

Have you ever been in a situation where you're talking, talking, talking and then some 'out of the blue' topic comes up and you're just like, 'Aack - no thank you.' That's happened before to me plenty of times but none have made me as uncomfortable as what happened last night.

I like to think that I can handle just about any topic, within "normal" conversation - and that includes man-topics too. I hang out with enough guys to know to expect the worst and even be able to put my two cents in there to offer a woman's perspective to the conversation. I also like to think that my friends know when and where to draw the line at normal/polite to lewd/inappropriate conversation. I'm not completely miss-ish where someone brings up sex and I start to squirm. Squirming starts if sexual details come up and I know (and can picture) the two people with whom the act is talking about - that's when the lines have to be drawn.

Last night, I went to go get a manicure/pedicure. I have my usual place I go to and the ladies (they're actually younger than me) know me in there. They're nice, little Vietnamese girls that always ask how I am and seem to be expecting me to come in with a big belly and some good news these days...at least that's what the last two visits were like. This time, when I walked in, I could see it in one of their faces, 'Sooooo....what's been going on? Any good news?' I told her not really and that I had been working a lot - but nothing that she probably wants to hear. I really think she's as anxious for some baby news as my mother. We got through the pedicure with some polite conversation - I asked her if she was almost done with school (she's going to college part time) and how her life was. Then she got to my nails and since she was sitting closer now and within whispering distance, she kept assuring me that I shouldn't worry or stress about getting pregnant - she's known people that have stressed so much about it and when they finally 'gave up' they got pregnant after 10 years. Okay - how we got onto the topic of actually getting pregnant is beyond me but I just sat and listened. But then, out of nowhere, she says stuff that only makes me want to cover my ears, close my eyes and go, 'la la la la la la la la.' This is what I heard....Chinese (yes, I'm Chinese).....large balls (of the male variety)......fertile.......eww eww eww......even writing it (because I'm saying it in my head) makes me squeamish! Then when she saw the look on my face (like a deer caught in headlights), she replied really quickly, 'I don't know for sure but that's what I heard.'

Okay - no need to supply me with urban legends here - I tend to be a factual girl - tell me what is true - I doubt anything she mentioned above has been scientifically proven - so it was just unnecessary. Does that mean I am only able to handle polite conversation? Doubtful. Maybe it was all out of shock - shock at how the conversation turned and shocked at the person supplying the information. We're not supposed to be talking about man genitals and fertile cultures....we're supposed to be talking about gossip rags, hair, make-up, NAILS.....

It's clearly going to take a few days to get over this....I will need to erase my mind of the whole event and forget that I ever went in for that manicure/pedicure.....maybe I can just erase the whole day - I should be okay by next Monday!