Wal-Mart is my Nemesis

As you may recall (but probably don't), many months ago I posted a little tribute to the great Midwestern everything store - Meijer. After Meijer and everyone's darling (and mine), Target, I have no praise left to give to their competitor, Wal-Mart. I loathe my Wal-Mart so much that it actually makes me sick - I have mini panic attacks almost every time I am in there.

"So why would you ever go there?" I hear you ask. A few reasons: (1) it is close to my house; (2) it is open late; and (3) it carries the exact kind of Rubbermaid clear plastic "Latchable" bins I like to organize my stuff. So occasionally, I sacrifice my mental health and go into the fire.

Last Friday night, I was on a roll cleaning out my closet. This is often when these housekeeping projects strike me. I once watched about three repeats of Sports Center on ESPN while cleaning out my sock drawer during the wee hours. Anyway, around 10:30 or so, I decided I couldn't finish my closet cleaning endeavor without getting some kind of shelving or bins to better organize my sweaters. So it was off to the dreaded Wal-Mart.

Unlike previous adventures at Wal-Mart, the late hour seemed to cut back on the number of extended families crowding in one aisle. I think you know what I'm talking about. At least in my neighborhood, Wal-Mart seems to be a family outing. If I want to pick up some Pantene Straight and Smooth Conditioner, for instance - it comes at a price - I have to squeeze through the narrow aisles past grandma and grandpa and their twelve grandchildren to retrieve it. And even though the store is always a mess and the aisles are far too crowded to accommodate everyone's shopping carts, on two occasions, I have abandoned my cart to shop for awhile "on foot," only to discover that Wal-Mart employees would rather restore the contents of my cart to their designated shelves than do anything about the overall disasterous condition of the store. Seriously. I have twice lost my cart at Wal-Mart halfway through my shopping experience and have had to start over.

The late hour, however, did not appear to have any effect on the overall number of customers in the store. I was shocked and amazed how crowded Wal-Mart is late on a Friday night. In addition to the constant cart traffic jams (one involving a crazy lady who was clearly talking to herself), I had to cope with the mess of restocking. There were motor operated inventory cart things and giant unwrapped boxes everywhere. I should note that this is not a 24-Hour Wal-Mart. Why they couldn’t wait until a few more customers had cleared is beyond me.

Anyway, here is what was going through my head the entire time I was in there: “I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart. I %#*^@*% hate Wal-Mart.” Nothing but expletives would suffice.

Thankfully, unlike with the crazy lady, these thoughts were not out loud.

He's a What?!

I read romance novels. But it's not what you're thinking - with the sappy love stories and Fabio on the cover...I actually draw the line at Fabio. I read historical romances set in England or Scotland - with a timeframe of Regency or Victorian era. I usually don't stray from this criteria. I think I've read over 200 books in the past 1.5 years. It really has gotten me through some down times in my life and I've even started collecting some that have become my favorites.

Usually, the stories go like this - handsome rake has reached the age where he needs to find a wife and create an heir (because all these people are gentry). Handsome rake finds strong willed and proper lady that succumbs to his charms and they fall in love eventhough rake really only wanted to do his "duty" and never give his heart. OR there's the beautiful lady with the scandalous past and the handsome rake with the scandalous past and they decide to freak everyone out by getting together but end up falling in love...blah blah blah - you know how it goes. But I'm a sucker for it...and for beautiful people because I won't lie - I do look at the picture in the book and if they're good looking and the story on the back cover looks interesting, I'll take it! I'm also proud to say that I've become one of the top customers of the Fairfax County Library system - I would be broke if I purchased every book I read - so I use the library system to get my fix.

Anyways - I recently purchased a couple of books and got around to reading them. This one in particular had a back cover summary about how the most handsome man in all of England swoops down to sweep a non-beauty off her feet...and she falls instantly in love with him but has doubts about why he only has eyes for her. As for the hero, he is not what he seems but once he reveals his truth to the lady, she realizes that their love can survive.

My first thought was - oh, he's probably a spy because apparently spies were quite the thing in the early 1800s. I've read plenty of books with spies so that wouldn't be too surprising for me. So I start reading the book expecting by the first couple of chapters, I will know that he is indeed a spy. But no...in the first four chapters, it was all from the lady's perspective so I really could not confirm what this guy's secret was. It wasn't until 3/5 of the way did you get an inkling that something "not quite right" was going to happen.

The hero's sister pretty much goads the heroine into finding out the secrets he's been hiding and possibly ruin their relationship. But when the sister finds out that the heroine is with child, she kind of does an about face, and tries to get with the heroine's brother in hopes that she can also become pregnant. Why the hubbub with getting pregnant? Well, here is it. The hero is actually a fairy. I'm not saying fairy like he's a homosexual (they were called dandies in those days)....he's a folklore fairy person -but he doesn't have wings and he can't fly but the life span of his people are about 500-600 years (give or take a 100) and they can exist in our world but they have to go to their world every six months (which apparently you get to through a long cave) to 'rejuvenate' or else they will eventually age and die out like the rest of us. He's a FAIRY! He didn't look like a fairy on the cover.

His mission was to procreate because his species were dying out and he needed to create a baby that was part of "his people" in order to carry out the legacy of the fairies. And that is why the sister wanted to get pregnant with the heroine's brother - because she could also help the fairy race. And so of course upon learning the truth that her husband was really a fairy, was already 300 years old and had three wives already with no kids, she didn't know if she could go on with him, even though she was already carrying his child. And she learns that she was targeted by him in particular because of her genealogy...apparently, on her mother's side (who is conveniently deceased in the book) they were of the same fairy/elf clan but the heroine never really knew. So in fact, she is like 1/4-1/2 fairy. But the thing is, for the hero, out of all his wives and in his 300 years of life, he had never felt love or knew what love was and just like that, he became like Foreigner and wanted to know what love is - so instead of going to his realm and rejuvenating, he decided that he was going to sacrifice his life, all in the name of love, and live out the rest of his years with his current wife (whom he loves) and raise their child and let the child decide if he wanted to stay in the human world or go to the fairy world, where everyone was beautiful and happy (FYI).

At the end of the epilogue (I really do like epilogues), I huffed, closed the book, and pretty much wanted to throw it across the room. But instead, I turned out the lights and woke my husband up and told him the nonsense I just read through - he was a FAIRY! Since when do fairies exist in Victorian England? I have been so careful in what I read - England, Scotland, Highlanders, Spies, etc - I try to avoid vampires, time travel, and other countries. I will say this though - I didn't see that coming.

Diary of a Boilermaker

For the past 10 years or so (ever since I graduated from college), Purdue's football team has been decent. Of course, this is in comparison to the "Colletto years," during which I attended Purdue. For those seasons, Purdue's only assured win in a season would be basically against a high school football team in August. Seriously. I am pretty sure Purdue was 11th place in the Big Ten at least once during my stay in West Lafayette.

But I am not sure which is worse. During the Colletto years, I faithfully attended either "Breakfast Club" or a football "Fire Up" at the fraternity with whom my sorority was paired for the season. We would enjoy some tasty beverages and head to our 50 yard line block of seats at Ross-Ade Stadium, causing a ruckus throwing plastic cups while we watched our team get pummelled. In those days, the most excitement from Purdue's offense was the occasional (and I do mean occasional) first down. By half-time, we were spent and headed home to crash.

Since Joe Tiller's tenure as the Purdue football coach, Purdue has been competitive. Purdue has been gloriously mediocre. The team has had moments of greatness, but more memorably, moments of heartbreak. Each year, I try not to get my hopes up, but when Purdue starts off its season 5-0, I can't help myself. Maybe this will be the year. Sadly, no. After losing to Ohio State at home last weekend, Purdue was spanked by the Wolverines at the Big House. Recall - this was the team that was beaten by Appalachian State - at home!! And yet, Purdue - a conference rival - couldn't get the job done. In fact, Purdue's performance was downright embarrassing.

Now, I know I am not the first sports fan to feel like my team is constantly breaking my heart. But I really don't get it. Why must Purdue always get spooked at the Big House? I think Purdue's last win there was in 1967 (or was it 1969? Does it really matter?).

It is tough being a Purdue fan.

Living with A.D.D.

We hear a lot about kids with A.D.D. (attention defecit disorder). In short, it usually means when kids have a hard time concentrating on one subject or one activity and are jittery and eager to move on to the next thing. But what we don't hear a lot about is adults living with A.D.D. I believe I am living with adult A.D.D. - this is self-diagnosed, of course, but I'll let you know what I go through and you can decide.

I did some research yesterday and they say that a lot of adults don't realize that they're living with Adult ADD because they don't recognize the symptoms but often mistake them for having a stressful life. The site I was on even provided six simple questions to see if, at a high level, I could potentially be living with Adult ADD. Up until now, I have always told people that I think I have Adult ADD but never have I wanted to actually take a test to find out...but I did...and here's what happened.

Note: All answers are either: Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often, Very Often
1) How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?
A: Rarely. Because my job is project based, I actually have the sole responsibility of seeing it through from inception to implementation. Otherwise, I think I've chosen the wrong field to be in.

2) How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?
A: Rarely. I'm actually quite an organized person. I do have a little trouble getting started on things but that's just procrastination. But once I do get started, I don't have a problem prioritizing and organizing and doing time management...afterall, that's one of the first things you learn as a business major.

3) How often do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?
A: Rarely. I write everything down. I have three calendars at my office - I write down all appointments and set up reminders in my Outlook.

4) When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?
A: Sometimes. As I said before, I'm somewhat of a procrastinator. I actually work better under pressure.

5) How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands or your feet when you have to sit down for a long time?
A: Often. And I don't think it has anything to do with the topic or activity going on - I think it has more to do with the fact that I had lower back surgery and I cannot sit or stand in one place for long periods of time, as told to me by my doctor, because I will become uncomfortable.

6) How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor?
A: Rarely. Shouldn't this be a result of caffeine? I don't drink a lot of caffeine and if I did, it does nothing to me. But if something isn't getting done, I'll do it to pick up the slack. But I can't say that I'm overly active...a bit of a scheduler and planner but not overly active.

So the result was this: "Your responses do not indicate a likelihood of Adult ADD."

I disagree. I don't think those questions really capture the essence of my self-diagnosed ADD. Here are some examples of why I believe I might have Adult ADD:
1) When watching TV, I need to be able to flip from channel to channel and I'm always looking for something better to watch. If I do get roped into watching something, during commercial breaks, I need to move to something else with actual programming. And sometimes, I forget what I was watching in the first place. That is why that 'Last Channel' button is so handy.

2) When out with friends or during an activity, I find myself thinking and my eyes wandering to other things - like 'What's going on over there?' or 'Who just walked in?' For example, when we went out for a friend's birthday to play ping pong, during the ping pong games, I would have one eye playing ping pong and the other eye always looking to see who was around. I got yelled at for not "fully" paying attention to the ping pong game.

3) I don't think I can watch a sporting event with complete attention -and sometimes, halfway through, I need to do something else...talk to people, observe others, etc. I can get fidgety.

4) I'm a big multi-tasker....at work, I can be on a call for a meeting but find myself doing a myriad of other things - writing up documents, doing research, writing in blogs, etc.

So if these things don't point to some kind of ADD, then what is wrong with me? Could it be as simple as I bore easily or I just always need to be doing something? I don't think so - I think there's more to it. But I'm not overly concerned that I need to go see a doctor about it. I can live with my self-diagnosis.

The Cupcake Is Not The Enemy

As you may recall from "Trash T.V. Returns," The Biggest Loser is in my lineup of Ti-Fauxed shows this season. I love to see the contestants' "transformations." In fact, I have always loved makeover shows. I also like to look at Bob, the trainer. He seems to genuinely care about his team, and he's also h-o-t hot!

Last week, they had a "temptation" challenge for the three trainers (there are three teams this season: blue, red, and black). The trainers were faced with a table of cupcakes. If one of the trainers picked (i.e. ate) the right cupcake, that trainer's team would get some kind of advantage in the challenge for the week.

Now, I have seen a lot of cupcakes in my day. And let me tell you - these cupcakes were gorgeous. They were different colors. Some had sprinkles. They made me happy just to look at them.

The host, Alison Sweeney (a.k.a. Sami on Days of Our Lives) asked the trainers when was the last time they ate a cupcake. The two women trainers both claimed they could not remember. Bob, bless his heart, said a few months ago - but it was only half a cupcake.

In the end, none of the trainers gave into the temptation. They all forfeited the mystery "prize." They would not be lured under the spell of the evil cupcake. They cited setting a good example for the team members, for whom eating things like cupcakes had paved the way for obesity.

But I call bullshit. Are you telling me that with all of that sweating those people do spending hours upon hours at the gym that they can never treat themselves with a little cupcake? We're not talking a gallon of ice cream in one sitting. I realize the contestants on that show have problems with food, but I wonder how depriving them of anything "bad" may hurt them in the long run. I smell binge. And it's stinky.

I say, let them eat cupcakes!!