Burn, Baby, Burn

Being a new mother, I have found that when I'm in the company of other mothers (the more experienced ones), one topic inevitably rears it's ugly head when you get around to discussing feedings, schedules and diaper changes. From diaper changes, we segue to gas and from gas we end up at 'explosive poops.' The question that usually comes up: 'Have you experienced the explosive diaper yet?'

No, the diaper doesn't explode...the baby's butt does. And yes, we have experienced the explosive diaper/poop. It's amazing what babies can do - they can poop in the back half of their diaper and up their back and totally miss the middle and front of the diaper altogether. In the beginning, one of my boys was a side pooper, meaning he was able to poop off center. That amazed me.

Back to the explosions. For one of our boys...we call him 'juicy toots,' seven times out of 10, his gas noises would lead you to believe that he has something extremely unpleasant waiting for you at the end of his feeding. But when we finally get onto the changing table to take a look, the damage is usually minimal. The bad ones are the ones that you can actually feel seeping onto YOUR clothes and when you go to lift them up to take a gander at the back side, you are welcomed by a nice, wet brown spot. How does this happen - this up the back thing? They're sitting up, pretty much, while eating. My guess is that since they're sitting on your lap, there really is no other way to go but up?

So far with Juicy Toots, we've had two explosive diapers...how do we classify the two as explosive, you ask? The fact that we consider 'burning' the outfit he was wearing. We already got rid of one sleeper because we did not think it was salvageable (sorry, Pearl...it was one of Izzy's old ones, I think) and we considered 'burning' the second one - until I decided to TRY and save it by hosing it down and letting it soak in the 'tub of shame.'

Tub of shame?! Yes, the tub of shame is where things that were once in good condition, have succumbed to baby badness and need a few days to soak. Who has visited the tub of shame? One towel that my husband, very wisely, decided to lay across his lap while feeding Juicy Toots because JT's tummy was making bad, Bad, BAD noises. (You know it's going to be bad when Mommy's tummy is competing with JT's tummy to see whose could grumble the loudest. Mommy's tummy was grumbling because it was 4:45 AM and she was hungry. JT's tummy was grumbling because...um....because....don't know why cause he just had a full bottle. Thank goodness the explosion didn't happen on Mommy's watch, but on Daddy's!) And then there was the second sleeper that was met with explosive poops. That happened on Mommy's watch - the one I'm trying to save.

So if you're a new mom (or dad), be ready...be ready for the explosions that lie ahead; be ready for Daddys to become drama queens when met with large to explosive size diapers (as overheard on the baby monitor a few times...'Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh crap!') and be ready to discuss it with others....