I found that before I gave birth, I tried to read anything and everything about twins, how to handle them, how to take care of them, how to get them on schedules - basically, I needed to be prepared for what I was about to face. Life with twins!
I can happily say that no amount of reading or preparation prior to giving birth is ever going to prepare you for taking care of babies - you will undoubtedly come home from the hospital with your new bundle filled with anxiety and baby blues. It's normal and those that say they didn't have the baby blues or difficulties when they came home from the hospital are lying. I even had help during my c-section recovery and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, helpless and ill-prepared.
When I first got home, I was frantic. I felt out of control. I'm a complete control-freak. I like everything to be on a schedule...yet I felt like I had no schedule and no way to control it. I started looking for college nannies or doulas that could come in and help me. Another big part of my stress was breast feeding. Finding time to pump and having issues with one of the babies latching on just added to my overall feeling of helplessness. I was not in a good place.
It wasn't until I started hearing from mothers of other twins that went through what I was going through did I start to feel better. There was one friend of a friend, in particular, that really helped me through the first two weeks - she had just returned to work after having her twins in December and so it wasn't long ago that she was in the exact same place. She gave me advice, shared what she did to get through and it really helped...you could say it brought me off the ledge. I ended up not getting a doula because I created a schedule for me and the boys. We're still living by the schedule now and it's working out well, for the most part. I spoke to another friend of a friend with twins and she also helped me a lot with my stresses with breast feeding because she felt the same exact way and was dealing with the same issues.
It was so great to hear from these women and know that I wasn't the only one feeling the way I did. Their advice and experiences really helped me make decisions that would make me a better mother to my children and to cope better in these 'newborn weeks.'
There was one mother of twins (another friend of a friend) that sent me an email BEFORE I gave birth (four days prior to giving birth) that completely overwhelmed me. She was talking about night doulas and getting a mini-fridge for the nursery and just provided me with a wealth of information that pertained to her experiences that completely turned me off. I can't really say if it turned me off so much as it just completely scared me. I didn't correspond with that woman very much after giving birth - her experience was not one that I wanted to follow....it was certainly appreciated, but I think there's a line that needs to be watched where you don't want to completely overwhelm/scare your audience.
In closing, I have to say that if you get a chance to share your pregnancy experiences and stories with others, especially those that are becoming first time mothers and are completely scared, definitely share them - especially the good stories. But don't go overboard - cause you can't give back your baby!
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