Who's Married to Her??

This afternoon, I took a little break from my lovely "office" at the Hawthorne Suites. Now don't get excited. It was just a run to Target for contact lens solution and whatever other random stuff I might come across while there (oh yeah, and Shawn requested that I pick up some Stride spearmint gum (very specific)). When I got to the eye care aisle, I had to scoot past a woman with a cart, small child in tow (now if this had been Wal-Mart, I would have simply backed up and tried to get to the contact solution from the other end, seeing as how even two women under 150 pounds cannot possibly squeeze into the width of a Wal-Mart aisle (I must note that this woman, however, was well over that weight - not fat - just very very tall and solid)).

You wouldn't think this woman's size would be relevant to this story, given that I was able to retrieve the desired Target-brand contact solution with no problem. But I promise it is (stay with me . . .). As I reached for the solution, I heard a very loud instrumental version of Carrie Underwood's monster country crossover hit, "Before He Cheats." At first I didn't think anything of it. After all, we were not far from the music section. Somebody probably just hit a button on one of those CD sample displays. But oh no. "Before He Cheats" is this woman's ring tone!

Because I am 100% nosy, I took a little extra time in that aisle. I had to see who was on the other end of the phone. If it were a girlfriend calling, perhaps, the ring tone might be a little funny. Okay, you're a Carrie Underwood fan. Whatever. People made fun of me for my very stellar choice of the theme to "Beverly Hills Cop." But when she ended the call, there it was: an unmistakable "I love you, honey. Goodbye."

It got me thinking. Does this poor guy have any idea of the song that comes up when he calls? And if he doesn't, I feel like we should warn him. If he cheats, not only is he going to have all four of the tires slashed on his pretty little four-wheel drive, but unless he has the stature of Paul Bunyan, that woman is going to beat him to a bloody pulp. Think before he cheats, indeed!