A Driven Volunteer with No Drive

What does it mean to be a driven volunteer with no drive? Well, in short, I believe that it is a person that loves to volunteer but lacks the ability to actually go out there and find the opportunities that are available to them. Case in point: me.

I am a driven volunteer - I like to help where I can...whether it's for a good, public cause or a personal cause. I understand that there are many people out there that are less fortunate than myself and my family and those friends that may be in unfavorable positions when I am not. Of course I'm not talking about people that are totally down on their luck and downtrodden. For example, one of my friends is having 'minor' surgery and without a thought, I wanted to make him some homemade soup and bring it over when he got back from the hospital. When someone asks for a volunteer for something, I usually never hesitate to raise my hand. It is what I can do to give back or help those that cannot help themselves.

My parents, in their retirement, also find time to volunteer with the community - making food for the needy, especially in the winter, and I think I get a lot of my 'helping hand' characteristics from my mother - as she never hesitates to volunteer her time to help a friend in need. But they also tend to make more monetary donations than physical donations. Rather than give monetary donations (which I do each year to various organizations), I prefer to be a physical presence when I can. And that leads me to this issue - no drive.

I will be the first person to volunteer my time when it's something I can control - like helping my friends or sending in a check or lending myself to a friend's volunteer event. But when it comes to going out there and finding a worthy cause to donate my time to, on my own, forget it. I guess I'm more of a leech in that way. When I hear about other friends volunteering their time to worthy causes, I am envious because some of them volunteer their time each week/month for the same cause while others are not afraid to go out there and find worthwhile charities to help out with. When they tell me about all the wonderful things they've volunteered for, a thought goes through my mind (EVERY TIME) that I really should go out there and donate to something I really believe in.

I really enjoy all the events that I volunteer for but I guess maybe, in some way, I'm afraid of commitment - I'm afraid of committing to something and for some reason, not being able to follow through. And if I don't follow through, I will be looked poorly upon and will be letting other people down. I think I also am afraid to go it alone - I would rather have a friend there as a security blanket than sign up for an event on my own and go out there cold turkey. But I think those are my own personal demons to battle.

So since I'm not that big into personal change, I think I will continue to be a driven volunteer when things are presented to me and in my control....maybe one day I'll change....more likely, I will not. Is this bad?