The Girl Crush

Jen and I have spent some time detailing our various celebrity crushes. Our crushes on the opposite sex. But we haven't yet talked about another kind of crush, a crush that can often be much scarier - the girl crush.

I have had a lot of girl crushes in my life: the young mother across the street when I was about 7 years old (my friend Lori and I both had a crush on her), one of the first grade teachers in my elementary school, a law school professor (I shared this one with a friend too - my roommate Heather was so bummed at graduation that this professor hooded me, but Heather had to be hooded by some far less savy male law professor), the spinning instructor at my gym, and numerous others, several of whom I've been lucky enough to befriend.

The common characteristics of my girl crushes are: (1) the object of my girl crush is strong (intelligent, athletic, and/or brave), put together (fashionable or exhibiting a healthy "I don't give a crap" style), and generally admirable; and (2) I want the object of my girl crush to like me. It's this second characteristic that is the scary one. The last thing I ever want to do is freak out the girl crush! This is particularly a problem when the girl crush is someone I would actually like to hang out with - a peer - as opposed to a teacher figure, from whom I seek a less personal or frequent gesture of approval.

I think - how do I "ask out" this girl? What if she says no? This isn't like a romantic crush. If I try to ask out this girl to be a new friend and she says no, I can't just say to myself, "maybe she just doesn't like 5'4" brown-eyed bleach blondes ..." Oh no. Unlike a romantic partner, this girl can have any number of friends. A "no" is kind of like saying, "sorry - I just don't like your personality very much," or worse, "you remind me a little too much of Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female."

Girl crushes. Not for the faint of heart.