Up With People (Or Not)

In my iPod right now: "Falling Slowly" - performed by American Idol contestant Kris Allen (I know - sucker! (but seriously, it's awesome))

I'm sad to say that my knowledge of celebrity gossip is slipping considerably. I mean, sure, while I'm in the checkout line, I'm as fixated on the tabloids as anyone, but I no longer subscribe to US Weekly, and I'm not as good about checking all of those fantastic celebrity buzz blogs as I used to be. I gave myself a pass for awhile based on my brief stint as a paparazzo last summer (a story for another day -I helped contribute to the machine in a pretty insignificant way), but it's getting a little ridiculous. It took me way too long, for example, to learn that Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend Sam were broken up. Unacceptable. Really. I'm embarrassed.

Well, I recently had a chance to get reacquainted with the old reliable celebrity source People Magazine. Or so I thought. I had a series of dentist appointments to tackle my unfortunate abscess tooth condition, and I was confident that the waiting room would offer a plethora of reading options, including the aforementioned People Magazine and perhaps a few issues of Highlights for Children. I mean, that's the only good thing about the dentist, right? The waiting room reading material. (Actually, that's not entirely true. I like the lead apron too, but that's only because I'm kind of a freak.)

When I am wrong, I am so wrong. This dentist office (while standard Del Rio super friendly) offered only "DTV" (which stands not for "Dance T.V." from the highly underrated "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" starring a young Sarah Jessica Parker, but rather, "Dental T.V.") and various dental industry magazines. Really? I kind of thought that the best way to help patients relax in "the chair" is to help them forget they're at the dentist. A feature on gingivitis isn't going to make that happen. I think I might mention this when I return for my cleaning in June. As I recall, my usually literary snob mom (and I mean that with the utmost admiration) experienced something similar many years ago. Unlike this case, however, the dentist had once offered all of the waiting room greats (People, Sports Illustrated, you name it) but one day decided to cancel them all and replace them with random promotional magazines that had obviously been sent to the office for free. My mom was furious that her People was not there waiting for her, and the poor receptionist got an earful. I'm pretty sure they ended up just sucking it up and forking over the negligible $400/year or whatever they previously spent and renewing their subscriptions.

Trust me. It's worth it.