Fakin' It

A successful trip to New York City this past weekend - got my hair cut - it's got shape and is significantly lighter in weight - Donnie knew just what to do (like I knew he would) - and this visit's topic of conversation (when he wasn't humming along to Rod Stewart): Asians with their fake hair color.

I actually brought up the topic because I was looking over some of the hair cut books that they have in this salon. They have all kinds - some that I remember looking at 15 years ago - but now they have newer ones that have all Asian women in it - and guess what...all the Asian women have like red/orange hair. I don't need to tell you how natural that all looks - NOT! So when I was looking over the book while sitting in Donnie's chair, I asked him, 'How often do these girls need to get their hair dyed to look like this?' He laughed and was like 'Well, since this is their career, probably pretty often because the roots are eventually going to come out.' It is just so ridiculous to me - to go through all that maintenance for something that looks so obviously fake.

I admit that back in my college days, I tried some hair color on my head - but it was like temporary stuff and it was streaks - not the whole darn thing. After a good yelling by my parents, I stopped doing it...and haven't put hair color in my hair since...but I do pluck out any grays (which Donnie says is cheating). So then I got Donnie in this tirade about how those girls look so fake - I totally agreed - and how he's seen Asian people try to pull off blonde and how it looks so horrible because not only do they look ridiculous, but they all manage to (and we said this at the same time) "forget to color their eye brows." If they do color their brows, am I supposed to think you're an Asian albino? I don't get it.

Meanwhile, while we're going off about these fakers, Dorothy, another hairdresser in a booth behind Donnie, has fake blonde/orange hair - and it's been that way since I've been going to the salon - so 20 years - she's a little old Asian lady and she has blonde/orange hair...I actually think she might have stripped her hair of any color and constantly dyes it to make it look consistent. I guess when you work in that environment, you have constant access to the supplies so it wouldn't be hard to keep up.

And let's not forget those Asian ladies at the hair cart in the mall - with the fake hair and bejeweled hair accessories - having blond hair extensions in your black hair isn't exactly going to win me over in being a customer....and piled on top of all the colors of hair you have? Hey - how about just make it look real...let's see what it looks like then.

This also brings me to my new thing, all in the same vein of 'fakin' it.' My fake tan. I don't go to any tanning parlors and I sure do not take advantage of the tanning beds at the gym (who knows how sanitary those things are) -but I decided to try self-tanning lotion (by Neutrogena). I did it for a couple of reasons. I wanted to gets some color without going into the sun. Also, my legs were very blotchy due to some bruises that I've received playing sports. I figured if I self-tan them, it won't look so discolored and so far, I've gotten pretty nice results. My worst fear, before starting this whole thing, was that I would miss a spot and I would have random hand prints on my legs where you can see I was rubbing the lotion in. Now, my worst fear was that when getting a pedicure over the weekend, and the woman was rubbing sea-salt scrub on my legs, she would rub off the fake tan and I would be leaving there with half white/half brown legs! It didn't rub off.

I get the idea that self-tanning is also used to do away with tan lines - but for some reason, I still keep my panties on when rubbing the lotion on my legs. So far - no big mishaps. I have to have my husband rub it on my back and make sure I get the back of my arms and hard to reach places - but I like it so far. I'm trying not to overdo it because I'm not exactly doing my legs and the rest of my body on the same schedule - my legs have already received three applications where the rest of my has only received one - Since everything seems to be looking okay -I'll have to catch my body up with my legs.