Gift Giving Dilemma - Occassion: Bridal Shower

Gift giving and gift receiving are a couple of my favorite activities. I really love gift giving during the holidays, especially if I purchased something that I know the recipient will totally love - because I really like seeing the reaction on their faces when they see it. In fact, sometimes I'm so excited by my own gift that I can't wait to give it to that person!

I've been told that I'm a great gift giver - I'd like to think it's because I put a lot of thought into the person that will be on the receiving end of my gift. I don't want them to just get another gift for their birthday or Christmas...I want them to get this awesome present that Jen got for them! The reason for my need to 'stand out' (if you will) from all other gifts stems from a childhood birthday party in which my parents (read: Mom) weren't prepared. They sent me to the party (sleepover, no less) without a proper gift. So minutes before I was supposed to leave, I had to scramble to pull something together and so I put together some socks and those freebie bath lotions/shampoos you get from hotels. This was the best I could do on a sixth grade budget....no car, no money. When thinking back to it, I can still feel my face getting hot when the girl opened my gift - I was so embarrassed. I would've hated to be the recipient of that gift and I hated even more that I was the giver. So ever since then, I have gone out of my way to find 'the perfect gift' for each person I'm purchasing for.

This brings me to the latest dilemma in my world of dilemmas - I am to attend an ethnic bridal shower this weekend for a co-worker that I don't really know. I think she invited me out of some sense of obligation. Another one of my female co-workers was also invited so maybe I was invited to keep that person company because she's closer to the bride than I am. As a working group, we already took a collection to purchase her a gift card as a wedding gift. But then I got this invite for the bridal shower and now feel somewhat obligated to buy her something else as a shower gift. My co-worker didn't think it was necessary but I think it is necessary...there is a distinction - the money I put into the collection was for the wedding and it's from the group as a whole. This other gift is for the bride only and would be from me, personally.

But what do you get for a bride that you've known for less than a year and have very limited interaction with throughout that year? One of my other co-workers (a male) suggested a dildo. Yeah right - first of all, it's not a bachelorette party and I don't know if I really feel comfortable handing her a box and saying, 'This would be better opened in the privacy of your own room.' So that's a pass. I also don't feel like lingerie would be an appropriate gift as this is an ethnic party and her older female relatives will be present - I can only imagine the *gasps* that would come if I brought something lacy or crotchless (yikes!) from Victoria's Secret for her to open in front of her relatives. I wouldn't mind something lacy from Vic's - I got a few for my bachelorette party and they were very tasteful...so what's the harm? I think it's the familiarity factor - I don't know her that well. I do know that the 'safe zone' would be a frame - something nice that she can stick a wedding photo in and remember her special, pre-arranged day.

I have settled on the fact that I will probably be purchasing something for her new home - which is not really much of a new home as her fiance is doing rotations in Queens and is living with his own family. Can you imagine...moving out of your own family's house to your husband's family's house - chock full of relatives on both ends?! I cannot even relate - nor could I ever (or would want to) imagine. What is something good that will let her forget that she's leaving the comforts of her own family and moving to a brand new state/city with a brand new family that she has barely known for a year? Maybe a dildo isn't such a bad idea after all.....

Amanda & Jen - a Retrospective

My friend is moving...pretty far away. Not California far, but southern border Texas town far - I will call it 'Texico.' Any which way, it's far enough. We all knew she'd be moving in the spring and we all knew that the time was drawing nearer - but the time is practically here - she's leaving next week. The friend is Amanda - the other half of Morning Cupcake!

It hasn't hit me yet - I may still be in denial. But all the months leading up to the inevitable departure has made me think about all the good things that have happened since becoming friends with Amanda:

My wardrobe has seen a big increase in the shoe and dress/skirt department since befriending Amanda. When first hanging out with Amanda, rarely did I ever see this girl in anything but a skirt and heels (platforms for the summer). So as we became closer friends and bonded over shopping trips, my closet began seeing more skirts/dresses and heels. I even broadened my black shoe horizon by purchasing grey shoes and red shoes - and those have become favorites in the closet. When I hit store websites, the first thing that I go to are 'dresses' and 'skirts.' I don't know why...I definitely have enough...and I think there is an imbalance of bottoms to tops. But my work wardrobe has certainly seen a positive change/increase and I owe most of it to Amanda. Without her equally fabulous fashion sense and enabling techniques, I would still be stuck in blah-collared shirts and flat shoes.

But Amanda and I weren't just about shopping - no way. It was about so much more. We found that we shared so many common interests - a love of music, movies, hot actors, good TV, the arts, dancing and everyday ridiculousness. We took karaoke to a whole new level by making it to the Karaoke Revolution finals, during ski trip, only to score perfect 50,000s on raw throats and a dying audience. And then repeating it the following year. We ventured to the Rock-It Grill, in Old Town, and had our fun, smoky, dance-party karaoke times in there. While driving in the car, how many people can you find that actually know the lyrics to Air Supply and will endure pain due to all the emotional hand movements that go into singing 'All Cried Out' and 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'? (Not many, I bet.)

One of my best memories is playing golf with Amanda for the first time (our first time playing together, not out on the course) on a hot, sweltering August day - who else could I depend on to join in my overheated fun than Amanda? I busted out the 'Beat It' dance (I even got some claps from a passing golfer), she made fun of me driving with a 'hammie' (sandwich) in my hand, we did circus tricks from our golf cart when picking up our stray balls (all while singing circus music) and we were together in arms against the golf nazi.

We signed up for hip-hop dance class together and were super ecstatic when we got chosen to move on up from Hip Hop I to Hip Hop II in a few short weeks! I will miss our routine trips to the 7-11 after class to get our much-deserved Slurpees (and then running back to our cars because of the shady people that hang out there). Never in a million years did I think I would be having a recital at the age of 32. And of course, would you expect anything less than both of us showing up to the recital semi-hung over? Rhythm Nation (not as good as 'Beat It') will always hold some good memories for me.

We're both semi-adventurers. We'll never go camping but we'll drive out of our way to check out new boutiques (that's an adventure!). How else would we have discovered one of our favorite stores, Diva? Our latest travel adventure to London was so much fun - lugging our suitcases into taxi cabs, through handicap-unfriendly train stations and going about our shenanigans in a whole new environment. There aren't many people that can go from an art museum to the outdoor markets and then back for a couture exhibit, all while constantly wondering if we bought enough wooden tulips to bring back home - but we did - and it was grand! This is where I deemed Amanda an agreeable traveling companion - and I can't wait to go on another adventure ('Sound of Music' anyone)?

Amanda seems to be the only one that I could really feel relaxed around and not have to worry about word vomit. If I had a thought on my mind, I knew I could spill it and she wouldn't ridicule me for thinking what I was saying. No political crossfires here.... No sir. I wanted to discuss the dilemmas of being a lesbian (if both lesbians are girly girls, then who gets the engagement ring?) or talk about my feelings for my top 5 famous boyfriends - and through it all, Amanda still took me seriously.

She's to the point and she sticks up for her friends. Amanda is extremely loyal and always up for anything (except camping - which I'm with her on that one). Her lawyer-side taught me that I need to be more aggressive when I've been wronged (this is SOOOOOOOO not HAM in my egg mcmuffin - it's sausage!). I just hope I can do her proud on my own.

What it comes down to is this - and I've told her this before - it's really hard to find someone with such similar interests but yet can have a differing opinion and really make you think about your own....and it's rare to find two such well rounded, accomplished people living in the same place. We always thought that somehow, in some way, we must've been separated at birth - despite our two-year age gap...and the fact that, oh yeah, I'm Chinese and she's not. But it never made a difference to us - we were like one in the same.

But what I like most about Amanda? Her laugh is just as loud as mine - and it's hearty.

I'll miss you Amanda!

Pulling Out the Race Card

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm pretty easy going when it comes to race. I am of Chinese descent but I make fun of my own people, other Asian people and heck, just about everyone else. I like to think that I am an equal-opportunity offender. I have some friends that joke about Chinese people or Asian people (lumping the races as a whole) and I laugh with them. And I have other friends that try to make comments in a delicate way but can't help but possibly offend - which I'm usually not offended by. I think a lot has to do with the fact that I don't really relate to Chinese people - I was born in New Jersey - I am an American. However, if I am personally threatened by something or someone due to my race, then I will speak up and defend myself - but that has rarely happened.

I can't think of one incident where I needed to pull out my race card. For those of you that may not be familiar with the race card, it can work two ways - as an offensive maneuver, pulling out the race card usually means that you're giving yourself an advantage (most times unfair) in order to make the outcome more beneficial to you; as a defensive maneuver, a person can pull out a race card if they have been accused of something unsavory (this will hopefully get you out of any trouble that you're in).

Most recently, Naomi Campbell was all over the news due to her unruly behavior in London's Heathrow -Terminal 5. Not only was there a disturbance on her flight, she supposedly became irate when one of her bags came up missing. Hello? Has she not been reading the news and all the baggage troubles that have been going on with Terminal 5?
Sidebar: My Dad actually just went through Terminal 5 on his way to Greece and he said the design is so flawed - it's more like a mall than a terminal. I'm thinking, 'Why mess with a good thing? Duty Free World in the United terminal was good enough for me!'
Okay - so she's a model - she's not supposed to read and know current events. But when she became unruly on her flight and she found out that her baggage was lost, the biatch went ballistic! She yelled, spat, maybe even flipped the bird - and eventually, she was hauled off to jail. (good call!) But then in her defense, she said that authorities singled her out because of her race. Sorry, Naomi - I think you've used that line before. AND your history of tirades and violence kind of makes us side with "good."

The race card is not something to be taken or used lightly. If you keep pulling it out, then you're eventually going to be like the boy who cried wolf. In this case, because I want to say that she has used the race card in the past, she is no better than that boy. I don't doubt that she has faced racial discourse in the past, but when she is the one that is doing the disrupting, yelling, spitting and serving up racial slurs, then I think it's time to pack it in, go with the police (with your tail between your legs) and shut the hell up!

And while we're talking about Naomi anyway, what the heck is up with her Gatorade (G2) commercial? Who was the genius that thought having her dance 'Thriller' with lizards/geckos would be cool? I certainly don't think it's cool - she wasn't even in that Michael Jackson video - she was in another one with him - so I don't get it. If the marketing people wanted to go with a model, there are a TON of other non-violent models out there that would've given off the same effect (WTF) or they could've paid those Filipino prisoners to do their 'Thriller' dance in the jail yard and had them cap it off with a nice refreshing G2.

I Recommend

I was just talking to my friend Calaneet the other day about the movie "Catch and Release." I've mentioned this one before, in my post "Fashion in Film." http://morningcupcake.blogspot.com/search?q=%22fashion+in+film%22 We agreed that it was a surprisingly good movie. Nothing earth shattering. It's not "Schindler's List" or "Dances With Wolves" or "The Shawshank Redemption." But I was expecting very little from it - just some mild fluff to serve as the background for my popcorn gorging. And it really kind of touched me.

I won't pretend that Timothy Olyphant had nothing to do with it (see http://morningcupcake.blogspot.com/search?q=olyphant), but it was more than that. It was the scenery (beautiful), the story (simple but effective), and the dialogue (half-way decent). It was the chemistry between Jennifer Garner and her leading men. It was Kevin Smith in a speaking role (although I still missed Silent Bob).

But something else came out of it - the soundtrack. Even in movies I don't particularly care for, there is usually some scene that resonates purely based on the music. While I liked "Catch and Release" on its own, the music in one scene really struck me. I thought to myself, "I must hunt this down."

Lo and behold - Joshua Radin.

The song was "What If You," which has become #1 in my Top 25 Most Played List. I liked it so much that I bought the "Catch and Release" Soundtrack (no more Joshua Radin there - but some other goodies). That led to a download of the entire album "We Were Here" and also the four track package "Unclear Sky." I also discovered that Joshua is a friend of Zach Braff, which was kind of an "a-ha" moment for me. Whatever Zach Braff packages as far as music, I seem to like (cases in point: the "Garden State" and "Scrubs" soundtracks). Joshua Radin can be found not once but TWICE on "The Last Kiss" soundtrack (which stands on its own as one of the best soundtracks I've heard in a long time).

Check him out. http://www.joshuaradin.com/

Not Fixin' to Say Fixin'

After a nearly seven year stint in our nation's capital, I'm headed back to the Lone Star State next week. My husband and I ate lunch yesterday at the Lone Star Steakhouse to kick things off. He commented on the moose head on the wall, by the kitchen. He asked, "Do they have moose in Texas?" I responded, "Uh - I don't think so. Yeah, that's weird." So perhaps a chain restaurant like Lone Star isn't the way to get into the Texas state of mind.

There's another way to get into the Texas state of mind, though, and that's the jargon. I'm gradually adding "y'all" back into my vocabulary. I kind of like "y'all." Sure, "you" can be plural, but it can lead to some confusion. People don't know whether they're being singled out or lumped into a group when you use "you." And that's where "y'all" fits in nicely. The only thing is - real Texans also use "y'all" to refer to just one person. So you eliminated the confusion by coming up with "y'all" and then you reinserted the confusion by using "y'all" to refer to just me? I guess that's how it works, y'all. Welcome to Texas.

"Fixin,'" however, I refuse to say. Nope. I just won't do it. While I am much more partial to a good Northeastern accent, I am willing to admit that a Southern drawl can be charming at times. But there's a difference between charming and hick, and to me, "fixin'" easily crosses that line. I may be "fixing" my car or "fixing" my hair, but I will never be "fixin" to buy a new t.v. or "fixin'" to find a new job. I won't even be "fixin'" to grab a can of Lone Star beer with salt sprinkled on the rim.

So I guess in Texas, I'll always be a Yankee.