A Night at the Ball Park - Take 2

Another imperfect poem about another baseball game I attended this past Saturday....

(to the tune of 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame')

Went to another ball game

Not too bad with the crowd

I got no peanuts or crackerjacks

The sellers were sparse cause we were up in the back

I didn't root, root, root for the home team

I really didn't care, all the same

I saw one boob, two boobs and a nipple ring

At the old, ball game.

So yes, we went to another Nats game and we were sitting in the upper decks this time around.

We had tailgated with the Wisconsin State Society hashers (runners that drink beer) and one of the hashers was kind enough to flash us her size A, unimpressive, bra-less (and probably dirty-sweaty) boobs towards the end of the game. She got paid $5 to do it. It was about $4.50 too much, if you ask me.

Why would anyone flash their (unimpressive) boobs in the first place? Granted, it was a small crowd that got to see it, since we were in the upper echelons of the stadium and no one was behind us...I would say that maybe 15 people, at most, witnessed it. But still...ick. And it wasn't just that her boobs were unimpressive...it was really the whole package. If any of you have ever seen 'Family Guy,' the girl was Meg, in the flesh, minus the pink beanie. So no, she can't even claim 'butter face' (but-her face) status.

I've been thinking...why? Maybe she did it because she needed some kind of affirmation that her boobs were okay? Maybe guys yelling at her to lift her top would make her feel good about herself? Perhaps this was the moment she had been waiting for in her whole life - to have guys pay enough attention to her to want to see her boobs? I don't know - I was too busy relieving the burning in my eyes to hazard a guess.

All I know is that you couldn't pay me enough to flash my boobs...and hopefully, no amount of beer will convince me otherwise!