Hand-Me-Downs: Unexpected Treat or Unintended Insult?

Okay, Jen's "Another Man's Treasure" got me thinking. How do people really feel about hand-me-downs? When I clean out my closet (which is pretty frequent, actually - I acquire a lot of stuff), I always make a nice big charity pile. Sometimes it goes to Goodwill, sometimes Salvation Army, and sometimes the Lupus Foundation (they have a very handy way of attracting donors through sending a special bag, which you can use to leave stuff on your stoop). I spread it around.

But one time I was talking to Shawn about my routine, and he suggested that if there was something I didn't want, I should offer it to a friend or a relative first. This begs the question: do my friends and family really want my rejects? If I'm giving away an article of clothing, for example, it is usually for one of three reasons: (1) it's out of style; (2) it's "tired;" or (3) it doesn't fit. So of the three categories, I would say only (3) is really an acceptable reason to give hand-me-down clothing to a friend. You could have something totally fabulous - but it is only truly totally fabulous when it fits. The problem with this option, however, is that the only real way to do this without insulting the intended recipient is if she is smaller than me. I have no qualms about offering something up with the claim, "It's too small for me - I thought it might look good on you." But when the something is too big? That's where I run into problems. Even though what I might be retiring is in perfect condition, I can't bear to suggest, "This is too big for me. Perhaps it will fit you."

See the dilemma? Very tricky. I guess here is where guys usually have it made. I can just hear them now - "This is too big. Why don't you try it? Hey, that works." No problem. But women, in general, seem to be much more sensitive about their size. And I confess - I'm not sure I'd be too thrilled if a friend decided something was too big for her - and immediately thought of me.