Two "Left" Green Thumbs

We took a tour around our new home last night. Basically, this was a walk-thru of what's what in the house, what the sellers are leaving and maintenance information...especially for their professionally landscaped gardens. Their garden, which only is about half the perimeter of the house, is FULL of flowers. They made sure that something was blooming pretty much every month of the year, except for maybe December/January. We had a run down of what gets weeded, what gets cut, what doesn't get cut, etc. We even met the two plastic flamingos that grace the side of the house. The seller was very interested in knowing whether I would be keeping the flamingos where they were. I was actually shocked that she wasn't taking them with her....but I said, 'If you're leaving them, I'll let them stay where they are.' I was assured that if I didn't want them, our neighbors would be glad to have them. I'll have to ponder that one.
I was just so excited that there was a hydrangea plant in there - and I learned that if you plant copper (pennies) or nails near the root of the plant, they will change colors when they next bloom. You better believe I will be trying that out!
There had to be over 15 species of flowers/plants that surround this home. It's really lovely. But having never owned a home before, I'm afraid that these flowers are all going to wilt and die...as is the case with any houseplant I've ever tried owning. I have to say, though, that watering them will not be a problem as they have built some underground irrigation system using recycled house water....but the pruning and remembering which flower gets what treatment...I'm not going to lie....I'm scared. Scared that these guys are going to drive by in a year and take one look at the house and say, 'Wow, they really let it go to shit!'

“Squashing” the Competition

Considering that people seemed to stop watching the Miss America Pageant about 10 years ago, beauty pageants seem to be getting an awful lot of attention these days. First, it was Tara Conner and the whole New York party scene. There’s no way you can convince me that girl is an alcoholic in need of rehab, but hey – whatever makes Donald Trump sleep at night. Then, there was the most recent Miss USA who evidently tripped on her high heels in the Miss Universe pageant and still managed a controversial top 5 finish (since I don’t actually watch these pageants, I did not see this for myself, but I am bummed because I love a good trip and fall – it’s pure, unadulterated comedy). Most recently, it is poor Miss New Jersey and the blackmail pictures.

When I first heard word of her whole blackmail affair, I confess, I immediately started thinking the worst of her. I try not to judge, but after seeing those trashy wet t-shirt pictures of that American Idol contestant in front of the World War II memorial, I figured there must have been something extremely distasteful and shameful in Miss New Jersey’s photographs, right? Wrong. Rather than face the embarrassment of the photographs being leaked to the press with some suggestive captions added by the blackmailer, Miss New Jersey decided to take preemptive measures and release them herself. And these pictures included: Halloween costumes; fake, over-the-clothes, bosom biting; raising glasses in a bar to toast; striking a suggestive pose with an index finger in the mouth; a demonstration of gymnastic skills and flexibility – in jeans; and . . . . get ready for this . . . a picture of Miss New Jersey, covered from head to toe in a turtleneck and pants holding up two small pumpkins as a makeshift rack. Stop the madness!

Poor New Jersey had to go through each and every one of these pictures on the Today Show “explaining” herself (i.e., explaining that she is a normal, young, twenty-something girl who enjoys laughing with friends and being silly). She had to explain about the pumpkins, “See, there’s this joke with my friends about how I’m flat chested, and see I held up these pumpkins as a joke . . .” Who should have to explain this? Who hasn’t been tempted to do that with pumpkins or melons?

What I would really like to know is what kind of loser is this blackmailer, and what has the world of beauty pageants come to if we’re worrying about an over-the-clothes pumpkin push-up bra? We’re not talking about a Penthouse spread here ala Vanessa Williams. In my opinion, beauty pageants are already pretty uncool these days. The last thing they need is to chase away the remaining contestants who enjoy goofing around with their friends. Come on. This is not the Stepford Wives. Or is it?

Sticker Shock

Ever since I got to college, I have always had a 'Purdue' sticker somewhere on my car. I wanted to let others know where I went....and it was a nice change, in New Jersey, from the other college stickers that seemed to always show up: Penn State, Syracuse, Penn, Rutgers, Delaware, etc. Now that I have been out of school for a few years, I still like having my Purdue stickers (there are two now) on the back of the car....lets people know where I went since my 'Purdue University Alumni' license plate holder is barely legible.
I always notice other people's car stickers cause I'm always on the lookout for fellow Purdue grads. It's fun - like car bingo. I would have had bingo multiple times over for Maryland, UVA, VaTech, Penn State, GW, and Georgetown. But rear automobile windows are no longer only populated with college stickers.
There are a lot of 'oval' stickers - the white ovals with the black, abbreviated lettering of a prime destination. The first one that I ever saw was 'OBX' or Outer Banks. That's a cool one because the 'X' makes up for the 'ks' in 'Banks' - like when you get a sassy waitress that writes 'Thanx' on your receipt. Another cool one that I saw was 'HHI' or Hilton Head Island, where the 'I' was actually a red/white lighthouse. These oval stickers also come in countries - the one that comes to mind immediately is 'IRE' where I think it's black, green, orange and italicized...for Ireland. But I have seen quite a few oval stickers more recently boasting some college acronyms - 'UVA' or 'PS' (Penn State). I don't like those...maybe it's the fact that my alma mater should never have an oval of it's acronym - 'PU' - who wants that on the back of their car?
There is the bumper sticker that is making it's way onto the body of the car and more away from the bumper. Lots of political statements. Every now and then, you find a funny one. And there are a lot of 'My child was an honor roll student at (fill in school name here).' You're going to have the car for more than one year, I'm assuming. What happens when your kid decides he doesn't want to be so knowledgeable and doesn't make the honor roll the following semester/year? Do you take off the sticker and hang your head in shame or do you leave it on the car and become a poser living on the glory of that one great semester until he gets his head out of his ass and makes the honor roll again? -OR- What if three years have gone by and your honor roll student is now a slacker in high school....what to do, what to do?
In the past two weeks, I've seen a few cars boasting their sorority letters. I'm thinking, 'Interns' or 'new grad.' None of the sorority girls I know have their Greek letters on their cars.
I'm actually a big fan of the magnets - I have a Purdue train magnet. But there are now a ton of other magnets making their way out there. Best example - the ribbon magnet. Aside from the original yellow and flag ribbons to support our troops and let other drivers in America know that you're 'Proud to Be an American,' you will see a ribbon magnet for just about every cause known to man. I can even go online and design my own ribbon and put some words on there and slap it on my car for my own purposes....hmmmm....I smell 'morning cupcake' magnets!
All I'm saying is that the car sticker/magnets have evolved from what we saw back in the day....not only is it just colleges and Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) peeing, it's like a big marketing campaign...your car is your billboard and the stickers are your campaign. Is it too much?

You Had A Bad Day

It's true that the phrase "Bad Hair Day" has been used to death. But even though it is no longer clever (assuming it ever was) but now just a stale catchphrase (right up there with "Where's the Beef?" and "Show Me the Money"), I do believe it remains an actual phenomenon. Let's face it. Some days the coif looks great; others, it's a hot mess - inexplicably.

But I don't think these "bad day" phenoms are limited to hair. I like to think I experience "Bad Driving Days" too. On an ordinary day, I think I'm a decent, competent driver. I know this is subjective and that studies have shown that about 90% of people think they are good drivers (just like most people think they have a good sense of humor, but we can't all be right), but I really do believe I get from A to B swiftly and safely - and with total confidence. But then there's that one day where I'm just kind of off. All day, I'm tentative, and I just don't get my bearings like I should. Sometimes, I even have the great privilege of having someone like my brother in the passenger seat to enjoy my Bad Driving Day with me. I know I am not the only one who experiences this. I see it to the extreme with my dad. One day, he's great; the next, he's putzing through a green light while a nice lady from church in the car behind him is laying on the horn (true story).

I suffer from other such days too. I often celebrate "Bite the Inside of My Cheek Day" (after a day of extensive gum chewing), "Stub My Toe Day," and "Papercut Day." But my personal favorite is "Spill on Myself Day." I like this one a lot because it usually means for me a new wardrobe. More than once, I have found myself waiting outside at Macy's until they open at 10:00 a.m. so I can buy a replacement shirt for the one I just dumped a whole cup of coffee on.

Luckily, I am starting to see the signs of my "Bad Days" and have learned to take preventative action. "Bad Driving Day" is a good day to take the train, have food delivered, and stay in and read a good book (or watch a countdown on E!). "Papercut Day" is a good day to avoid pulling any files off of shelves (especially redwelds). And "Spill on Myself Day" is a great time to catch up on my water consumption.

A Change of Heart

I have to say that I am one of those people that thought Victoria Beckham was an unsmiling, cold, unfeeling "cow" (as others have called her). With the media storm surrounding the Beckhams and their move to America, all I could do was roll my eyes and think, 'WHO CARES?!' Many people move to the US everyday and you don't see media outlets clamoring for their stories.
My knowledge of Victoria Beckham has been largely through media - Spice Girls (I can dig some of their music), gossip columns and entertainment shows. In many, many, many pictures, Victoria barely cracks a smile, let alone any other type of emotion other than indifference. So I just assumed that she was probably a snob (c'mon - POSH Spice) and probably had zero personality.
Well, I got reeled into watching 'Victoria Beckham: Coming to America' for lack of anything better on television last night. I admit that I watched the snippets of her on Today and Access Hollywood. It was these clips of her giving interviews that made me think, 'Hmmm...she actually is pretty well spoken.'
I always thought she had a great sense of style - when you're 5'3 and weigh less than a buck, it's easy to look nice in just about anything. But while watching the 'Coming to America' program, I realized that she is actually pretty human and she has the same worries that anyone else would have when moving to a new place....meeting/making friends, updating your driver's license, finding a good manicurist, etc...totally normal. I was happy to see that the DMV refused to let her take her driver's license picture again, eventhough she had her hair and makeup people prep her prior to the photo. I'd like to think of a bad license picture as a rite of passage to driving...how many people actually do like their license photo? (OK - I kinda do.)
Throughout the program, Victoria made candid comments...even jokes...and she did smile more than a couple of times, and even laughed. She doesn't understand why Paris, Britney, and Lindsay all go out sans 'nickers' - welcome to the club. She was quite funny. Although I think I prefer her 'scowl' look over her happy look cause she doesn't have the winning smile...sorry, Victoria.
So the jist of my story...I think I kind of like her now. All these years of her being my second to last favorite Spice Girl (Scary is my least favorite cause she still scares me)...I feel like I probably didn't give her a fair chance. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm a fan, cause she really hasn't done anything fan-worthy...but I have a new found respect for her...not the hero kind, just the regular Average Joe kind.